Back in the day, folks would often get insulted and the clapback of a few generations were “Sticks and stones may hurt my bones but words will never hurt me”(old adage from 1862- Unknown Author). We deceived ourselves, that’s the worse self defense mechanism if I ever heard one.

Truth is, the most dangerous person is a person who has no self-control. Not the person with the third degree blackbelt, powerful politician or criminal. The dangerous person is that one with the unbridled tongue that is mentioned in the Bible (various chapters of Job). The reality is, your little tongue can produce massive hurt, pierce, devastate and even cripple.

How many people we know are in therapy now because of hurtful word wars with their parents? Bullying and cyberbullying has resulted in attempted suicide and even deaths. People we love who refuse to reconcile have stony hearts from words spoken over them. Some people are crippled by “You will never” and “you are like your father”. Lovers at the cusp of marriage then hear words like “I never really loved you” destroys within an instant. The list of insults, low blows, degradation and lashing continues. Whether it’s from a Troll on the internet, close friend, family member or significant other they hurt.

Worlds ultimately rule our lives and shifts our perspectives. Think about it, words hold power in every aspect of our lives.Words hold weight. Each word (and the combination of some) is enough to evoke emotions, actions and create change or inspire destruction. Such power tools are seen and heard everywhere like…

  • Political campaigns and debates
  • Love Letters
  • Medical Documents
  • PowerPoint presentations
  • Movie with subtitles
  • Strategy & Philosophy
  • Counseling and Advice
  • Audiobooks
  • Journals and books
  • Starts a movement
  • Makes someone emotional
  • The start of a war
  • Travels around the globe
  • Speeches and sermons that highlight your vernacular, thoughts and heart
  • Resume words for people to openly judge you
  • Poetry and music the evoke feelings and plant seeds (good or evil)
  • Theories, Dissertations
  • Accusations or applaud  
  • Blogs, essays and articles (newspapers) & more

Sometimes it’s not just the words but the real power is the intent and motive behind it. It may have started off with good intentions but then received incorrectly and evoke feelings that are difficult to control. My grandmother used to say “if its not pleasant, keep it to yourself”. We must realize that we have so much power in how we present and maneuver words. Let’s use our power and platforms to uplift and inspire. You never know one thing you say to someone can shift and save their lives. You never know, YOU may be the one to impact a generation, empower someone to reach their full potential, inspire someone to be great or achieve something spectacular. YOU make all the difference.


They say, “trust who you train and train who you trust, I completely agree. Training the right people with preferable qualities will result in higher productivity and enhance performance. Staff are more confident, compliant and competent by increasing their knowledge and understanding. Training someone or a group of people insinuates a level of trust where your investing knowledge, expertise, time and exercising patience with a level of expectancy. You expect a return on your investment. You expect commitment, loyalty, growth and development. 

If you are going to train your team, allow room for mistakes but enable them the freedom to fail forward. To turn things into teachable moments. Micromanagement of any kind will aggravate and increase anxiety.  If they are properly trained and are well equipped and have adapted to their roles, then if they make wrong moves you can address it because at this point they should know better.

Training individuals you trust is tricky. You can pour into an individual and they either aren’t teachable or have a fixed mindset. That can feel like a tug of war on most days but its best to train anyway and enable them to be liable for the outcome. Sometimes we invest in the wrong people. We fail to recognize potential and good character in others and select sub-par participants. In life, things will happen and people will fail you. However. A good leader you must be able to pivot outcomes. 

Person may have certain skill but require character development. Quick thinking and being a solutional leader are needed here. Everyone should be cross trained to enable gaps and voids to be filled. Sometimes, we humans tend to train people we will perform well in a certain area and neglect others whom we are oblivious to their potential. It’s imperative to be aware and observant. There is potential all around us. Maybe we trained someone in systems management or logistics and although the information is good to know, it’s just not their thing. Could it be they are better off in another department?

A person may fail to produce results. Maybe this person is misplaced and doesn’t need to be thrown away (fired or moved unbeknownst to them) but reassigned. Their strengths have yet to be tapped into. Could it be this person outgrew this role or the role outgrew them?… a major factor to consider.

Anyone who is unfulfilled, underestimated, under stimulated or unchallenged will seem lazy when they are actually frustrated. Your role as a leader is gauge and redirect that. Maybe your company or organization grew and the role is now bigger than their ability. You might need them to partner up, gain new skills or enhance previous ones. They could be overwhelmed and trying not to disappoint the team. 

Most would argue that we can’t always build on strengths, while that is true. Its best to do basic trainings across the board and then have people developed within the area of expertise. We are not neglecting weaknesses. This is were professional development, coaching, “shadowing”, guidance and most of all encouragement is necessary. My mother used to say, “Encouragement sweetens labor”. Some folks will need that push just to keep them motivated and confident. Know that there are various learning styles, levels of understanding and everyone’s abilities are not infinite.

Many Leaders fail at training which is a failure to invest. Don’t allow nepotism or favoritism to take over. I call it the “”shiny new toy syndrome” Trust me, it can be subtle but will always be extremely noticeable. Sometimes, we are eager to train and engage the new that we push the old aside. This will ultimately lead to a decline in productivity, discord, disdain, anger, low morale, decrease in camaraderie and worst of all, division. A leader’s goal should be securing everyone in their place to build a strong team.

New people need to be introduced and integrated without causing a disruption within team dynamic. Leadership is responsible for establishing a culture and managing the environment. If you allow your team members to get lost into the background. When team new team members join, sometimes staff needs to recalibrate. While others may welcome with open arms, others may feel replaced, overshadowed or lose sight of their significance especially if someone new has the same expertise. Stages of a team may need to be revisited here. There are five stages of a teams’ development cycles such as:

  1. Forming – Excitement, questions, expectations and trust building.
  2. Storming – conflict, adaptation, frustration, a shift.
  3. Norming – inclusion, flexibility, resolve, acceptance, cohesion, synergy
  4. Performing – progress, team effectiveness, high competence
  5. Termination – strong conflict or needs change.

Having great knowledge about where your company is and going is critical. Strong conflict management and attention to behaviors are skills a Leader should always possess. The next step is access what type of individuals are needed in each area. Be prepared to develop, train and see where changes need to be implemented. Consider boosting morale in a shifting culture. Its imperative to have on going personal and professional development. Organizations who balance the two have higher productivity, retention and content team members.

Here are some benefits to training your team:

  1. Overall Retention
  2. Strengthens Skills
  3. Increases Understanding / Clarity
  4. Refreshes Current Staff
  5. Provides updates on protocols and methodologies
  6. Increase Engagement
  7. Develop Future Leaders
  8. Builds Relationships

Hope this blog helps you as a leader to develop a healthy work environment and healthy team, all the best!



The slightest changes in ministry are always important, never insignificant. Ministry is more than titles, holding a microphone, or even religious traditions. Many have treated ministry like a Broadway show that’s Christ themed. True ministry (like Jesus) has to do with the business of people.

The business of people is a heavy and weighty responsibility. Lives are literally in your hand. Many make life adjustments based on teachings and use the foundation of what is received to structure every aspect of life. Most importantly, your ministry provides the blueprint for personal and spiritual growth. It’s more than your spiritual walk but affects you across the board. So, when changes are being made, it affects one’s entire existence.

There are times when a ministry or organization undergoes massive change.  Change requires adjustment, realignment, and flexibility. Everyone from leadership down needs to recalibrate their steps and choices. Big changes like when your Leader goes from the Pastor to your Bishop. He/She has been elevated and requires much on the leadership team and congregation.

One may think that has nothing to do with my life. When your leader becomes a Bishop, they have a greater influence not just in your community but across the globe. It represents immense trust and most of all influence.  They have just “leveled up” and no it’s not just all on their shoulders.

Let’s start with leadership. All team members must do their part to respect, protect and support the one who is in the forefront. Things are more public, and the goal should be to protect the integrity of your Leader and their vision. A greater sense of accountability has to be present here. Leadership is responsible for assisting with changes, decisions and everything that will trickle down to the congregation and community. A leader may not always make decisions and moves you like nor will their views and perspective always directly align with yours. However, you must respect it and roll in the directions of the instructions. We honor Presidents, CEO’s and people in power even when there are diametrically opposed views. Therefore, the person who prays for you and is there for you in every aspect of your life should be respected even more. My mother always reminded me of a popular scripture, 1 Timothy 5:17 KJV “Let the elders that rule well be counted worthy of double honour, especially they who labour in the word and doctrine.”

She always reiterated that the man or woman of God was worthy of double respect. If you disagree check your Bible. Balance and power are represented. We render unto Caesar what do to him. Laws, leaders, and guidelines have been a part of society from the beginning of time. Think of your leader as a King or Queen. Your job is to serve and also to attend to the people. You not there to be manipulated, used, or abused but it’s a partnership not to be taken lightly. Know your place and know it well. You are not on the same level. Suggestions can be made for accountability and the sake of wise counsel, but your opinion is not always needed or wanted. Let leaders lead.

In chess, Bishops are a great asset to have on your team, but if you’re the one who has them on your team, then make sure you’re well-prepared to defend your board from enemies. Bishops in chess are a crucial resource for attack and defense. If used correctly, bishops can be extremely useful for helping you win the game. The Bishops Position Is between the King/Queen and Knight. Naturally, your leader is between world dignitaries and those who guard him/her. Spiritually, he/she is between God the King and those who fight alongside them as armor bearers and intercessors.

For the congregation, a certain level of grace should be applied. A Bishop may have greater decisions, appearances, and choices to make now. They may not cater to your every need. They bury your dead, dedicate your babies, and rally with your family when an issue arises but on top of catering to you, they may be asked to respond to a political or social issue addressing the world or even worse, appropriately respond to the effects of a global pandemic. Talk about responsibility. I would advise members to get off your leaders’ backs and just pray them through. Pray that God grants them the wisdom and knowledge to lead well, to hear His voice clearly, and that they follow divine instructions. In the end, it’s for our benefit. As he/she has been elevated we must elevate our level of not just respect and honor but obedience, cooperation, participation and support on all levels.

To honor someone requires a great increase in your character. Being trustworthy, loyal, and integral are key elements to the survival and success of your ministry. If you were already honoring and respecting your leader, kudos to you, and continue to do so but if you have not (and you know it) repent and get your act together. You will have to answer to God for your treatment of those whom he placed in authority over you. Their success is yours. Think of it in relation to chess

  1.  Seek out open diagonals: A bishop’s potential is maximized by placing it on an open, long diagonal—that is, a position in which the bishop’s potential path is not obstructed by friendly pawns or an opponent’s pieces. 
  2. Maximize active bishops: Bishops that are able to move freely outside of its pawn chain are known as active bishops, whereas a bishop that is trapped behind its pawn chain is considered a passive bishop. Both “good” and “bad” bishops can be active or passive. An active bishop is usually a more powerful piece due to its flexibility and range.
  3. Good bishops vs. bad bishops: Bishops are referred to as “good” and “bad” based on their position relative to their pawns. If the majority of your pawns are on the same color square as your bishop, that bishop is typically regarded as a “bad bishop” because its movement and influence is restricted by the pawns. Conversely, a bishop that occupies the opposite color as the majority of your pawns is considered a “good bishop” as it is able to move freely and exert more influence over the chessboard. Though a good bishop is generally considered to be more advantageous, a bad bishop can often be useful in defending a pawn.
  4. Utilize bishops in the endgame: Bishops can be particularly effective in the endgame, especially when the only other pieces remaining in the game are pawns. The bishop’s long range allows it to both protect your pawns and threaten your opponent’s pawns, making it easier to promote the pawns you have left and eventually deliver checkmate.

I don’t know about you but that sounds like a responsibility to me. Praying, assisting, and cooperation a part of that responsible package. Learning how to address and assist your Bishop is a job. Maximizing your Bishop is not trying to monopolize their time or seek attention. Don’t try to “trap” them. They Are supposed to be out in the open and deal with people being active in the community. Your Bishop is considered good based on their influence. Just like a parent, they must stand out and be the difference they want to see as an example. They can’t be on your level. They need to exercise their authority and often defend us. The end goal is Heaven. To live a life that’s pleasing to God. They protect us from living contrary lives by promoting what the word says and giving instructions that is unadulterated and straight from God. They stand as a direct defense and come against everything contrary to your growth, health, and development in Christ. They are a direct threat to our enemy. Bishops help promote the overall well-being of everyone in the game. Do your part to ensure his/her success because it’s the only way you as a community and a group will win. God is the one with His hand in the game guiding it all but we do have a part to play, lets’ play wisely and pray for wisdom to proceed with every strategic move we make as a collective.


Masterclass. 2001. Derived from The Bishop In Chess: What the Bishop Is and How to Move Your Bishop on the Chessboard – 2023 – MasterClass.

Deflecting Light

Deflection, a coping mechanism for many. A way for humans to redirect focus and attention of something unfavorable from themselves unto another. Typically associated with defense mechanism.

I was thinking today. Don’t we sometimes use these methods with our Father? When faced with ourselves. Aren’t we quick to have the Adam syndrome… It was the woman, friend, boss etc. you gave me. We rarely take accountability unbeknownst to us because we can’t see ourselves. That’s why we have the Holy Spirit to being things to us previously unaware.

Sometimes when were defensive it’s because its cousin offense is present. Your uncomfortable with this feeling or emotion so we quickly try to shake it off. We ignore the very person shedding light on us to help us. Sometimes living and adjustment to darkness will always make light disturbing. We treat people like this, but we treat God like he as I’d he were “people”. We got issues and an attitude so we gonna ignore him. We’re not mature emotionally or spiritually to let him address. It requires vulnerability and were not ready (Kevin Hart voice).

Realizing today, categories are important and vital to our Relational intelligence with folks and most importantly to God. I repent for ignoring God. How dumb when the answer is He! Issues, no problem for him. We trust God for stuff, breakthrough, miracles etc. but can’t trust Him with our hearts and emotions. We gotta change that! We need to rid deflect when we recollect. To consider the goodness of God and how He has been with you and carried you. A memory of his faithfulness will keep you from ignoring Him but being humble and vulnerable with a great level of trust.

I’m TRANS… formed!

Let them be confused about who you are now! (Divine Misunderstanding)

– DR. courtney m. bradley

When you look at the transgender community, you’ll see a people who are fully persuaded about their lifestyle. They are passionate about transformation and “becoming”. Similar to Michelle Obamas book, there’s a whole process to endure as you evolve into what is new and who you were intended to be.

It’s high time that the body of Christ adapts that mentality as well be tenacious about our walk. So what if people are stuck on who you used to be? Let them be confused about who you are now. Be bold about your stance and choice in Christ. Endure the process, go to great lengths and be excited about your original self being introduced to you. Be transformed unapologetically!

Support Me

God has made everyone unique, a wonderful dynamic of diversity. However, we often forget that concept. Our perspectives are often selfish, limited, biased, partial, cloudy, culturally based, or just shaped by the norms of our environments.

 Many have lost valuable relationships based on our lack of understanding. We forget that premise is correct, we are all different. We all vary in definitions and have peculiar perspectives, life encounters, influences, and environments. What’s common to you may be foreign to another. We tend to go to what and who feels familiar, a form of social subconscious bias. We tend to cling to people with whom we find the most commonalities. We naturally and sometimes intentionally avoid and reject all that is different from us that we may have challenges accepting. Sometimes the person or perspective challenges us. We don’t grow or expand our horizons sticking to what we know but rather live a life boxed in.

Even within our own circles, we have boxed-in mentalities that comes with a series of expectations. It’s not that others let us down; they were being themselves, but what let us down was our own expectations. We have monologues with ourselves (lacking communication) and say, “we’re close you “should know this and that”. This is why communication is essential to any form of interaction. Not everyone shows visible expressions of how they feel, not everyone is verbally expressive, and not everyone is emotionally intelligent. We must speak with each other.

The most common topic on people’s minds, posts, statuses, and conversations is … ME. I know Beyonce sang “Me, myself and I… that’s all I got in the end, that’s what I found out”. Most likely a narrative of hurt from a former lover. We often take hurt and pretend to be better when everything we’re portraying is really screaming the opposite. We don’t realize that we are a self-centered generation. We can’t recognize another’s pain and that fact has contributed to the rising number of suicide cases. The surviving is left to answer

  1. What signs did I miss?
  2. Where was I?
  3. Did I do enough?
  4. Could this have been prevented? And the rabbit hole of inquiries continues on…

We are often stuck in our own world. We may have a few people inside our bubble but yet still have ridiculous standards. One I would like to address in particular is the issue of the lack of support. We all have said it at some time in our lives. “We don’t feel supported” or “I support everyone but when it’s my turn, where is everyone?”. It’s good to be self-aware and know what your needs are as long as we’re not consumed by them. By all means, know thyself. Be familiar with your own love languages as part of your hierarchy of needs (Maslow) is demanding support, encouragement, or validation. However, I have a question?… Since you are requesting to be supported, in which way did you leave the door open or grant someone access to show up? Also, did you know that nobody has to support you? It’s not a criterion for life, it’s not a prerequisite for loyalty, and here is why.

As I stated previously, we are all different and our perspectives vary. Whether it’s what you’ve taught or your own concepts about life, we don’t all see the same. Can you wear other prescription glasses? Of course not, so we would have less of an emotional battle, and decreased frustration when we learn to accept that support means different things for different people. Just because you are close to someone doesn’t mean they will automatically pick up certain facts and preferences. Some things are obvious like a parent attending their child’s recital. There should be no question of “showing up” there. However, If you have an endeavor, achieve a goal, or reach a milestone, how people respond to you will vary. You will have to accept that fact and truly be okay with it.

In business, they tell you not to see your immediate circle as your clients and they are correct. Many close to the sun are blinded and they can’t quite see you and all your majesty. They will most likely not appreciate you until it becomes “dark” and they realized you brought sunshine to their lives. A realization only reality can bring.

You cannot force or manipulate people to support you. Support will be disingenuous and might be full of responses (verbal and non-verbal) that you may not like. Oftentimes, support will come from surprising sources.

There are many pros and cons to support. If you get it, appreciate it but if you don’t just know that it doesn’t take anything away from you. You are still amazing; most gems are often hidden and need to be found by someone who is searching for value or is professionally trained to recognize it.

Here are some disadvantages of a poor support system

  1. Prone to depression
  2. Vulnerable to suicide
  3. Questioning your worth
  4. Insecurities
  5. Feelings of loneliness
  6. Lack of security
  7. Increases Anxiety
  8. Confirms self-defense mechanisms
  9. A need to be strong all the time
  10. Adaptation to handling things on your own, later unwilling to accept help
  11. Resentment
  12. Cynicism

On the other hand, here is how support can be beneficial

  1. Boosts confidence
  2. More likely to thrive and accomplish goals
  3. Gain an extra push
  4. Boosts mood
  5. Serves as a community
  6. Provides a sense of belonging
  7. Increases strength
  8. Overall health and well-being
  9. Ability to speak up about issues and concerns

In today’s climate, there are a lot of regrets and destroyed relationships due to a lack of communication. Let’s remember that support looks different for eveyrone and is defined by unique perception.

Let’s us practice exercising genuine concern empathy and tapping into our emotional intelligence. Before a demise, the signs are all there. People just don’t commit suicide because they are sad. Sometimes they are just fed up with the world and how we treat them. Life in itself can beat upon someone but support and authentic connections can make a difference. Let’s throw kindness around like confetti and be the difference that makes someone’s world different!

Celibacy and Christianity: True Test of Faith

One of the biggest topics in the world is based on relationships. Relations are just interactions that develop, and form based on the level of access we give someone. Some grow, but all need to be managed. We’re all born with an innate desire for a sense of belonging and to connect with other human beings. How we pursue relationships to fill that void is another discussion.

Many are blessed to find and unite with their “person” or soulmate. Others are still searching or waiting to be found. Churches have dedicated group relationship status where they discuss lifestyles and tips to live a life aligned with that of Christ. With Christ as the center and core of our essence, the subject of dating gets interesting. Many acknowledge that they are “not just anybody therefore they cannot just be with anybody”- Bishop Mervin Harding. I completely agree, life as a Believer is a life souled out, set apart, and targeted. I’m not saying we cannot mingle with others who don’t share the same beliefs but being “unequally yoked” is a demise waiting to happen.

Being unequally yoked doesn’t always mean a Christian and Non-Believer are dating. It’s also dating another Christian of another denomination, has diametrically opposed views, and conflicting life practices and whose personal walk doesn’t reflect anything close to their profession. The world doesn’t respect Christianity not because of the many forms of it but because we don’t practice what we preach. Things are confusing because we’re not brand ambassadors staying on brand, we contradict. We somewhat believe the word and accept partial truths to mix in with our walk. This is why it’s imperative to have discernment and also seek God about who you connect to. We shouldn’t casually date, but date intentionally.

Be clear about your core values, boundaries, and challenges. It’s best to connect with a partner who can encourage you and push you to live your best life. A partner who understands your goal and your God. When you are secure in yourself and your standards, you should be strong enough to take a stand. Having the “sex talk” with your partner isn’t sinful it’s life. You both should be partnering to live life as a vessel that is pure and ready for God to use. If your partner wants, you to compromise or is getting aggressive it’s a red flag. If your desires don’t align then that’s something to discuss. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a walk in the park, being celibate. It is a challenge especially when your partner is “fine” and very attractive.

You may have an active imagination and may struggle in this area. No need for shame, it’s natural. Many musicians and Levites struggle with their flesh. Forerunners that carry the sound or glory will always get hit hard. Temptation means something offered to you that you like and desire. Nothing dangled in front of you will be unappealing. Please know that you’re not alone. No cold shower is going to help. These little tricks don’t do anything if you need deliverance in this area. It’s advised to find activities to substitute frustrations. It sounds like a cliché but talking to God about helping you through this will work. Be honest about where you are and venerable in your prayers. You don’t need Him to take away the passion you have just help you take it until it’s time to release it.

The word of God is a defense. If we hide the word, we might not sin against Him (Psalm 119:11) and keep our mind on things that will edify and feed our spirit. Know that music is masterfully crafted and also is a spiritual expression and experience. Guarding your ear gates is a necessary step. You can’t live in a bubble, but your eyes also need guarding. If you struggle with sexual addictions, then that’s a discussion for your Pastor and or Sex Therapist. It’s advised to find activities and ways to “cool down”.

Please be selective about the people you allow in your space and the places you choose to go. If you know you can’t handle certain environments do yourself a favor and turn down that invitation. Delete the numbers of those who are eager to see you cheat on your first love (Christ) and have no regard for your wishes. One thing I remind myself is that I’m heir to a celestial throne and the last thing I need to do is intentionally place myself in the midst of fire. As a musician or leader in ministry, whatever spirits we “exchange” or open up ourselves to we open a door for the enemy to infiltrate our encounters and environments. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy… remember? (John 10:10) He has no authority to harm you. He needs divine permission (see Job) or we make ways for Him to be comfortable.

We compromise and that’s why Believers are not respected. If you happen to fall, shake yourself and get back up. The enemy will make you feel conflicted, but the Holy Spirit will convict. The enemy will make you feel filthy but remind yourself that God’s desire is to give you a chance to be forgiven. Pastor Donnie sang “get back up again”. You’re still a child of God, do not cower don’t hide like Adam and Eve. God looks forward to dialogues with you. Regardless of your state whether you just fell, now standing, or have been running the race of celibacy for a while know that’s it’s worth the wait. Know you are more than a moment, you worth the wait. I think of it as the difference between fast food and a fine dining experience. Fast food is easy, cheap, and unhealthy but it’s great for a moment. There are no real nutrients. Substance comes from a well-cooked meal. If you go to an elite restaurant and order its best, there is a wait time. You may see everyone around you getting what they order ahead of you but who said it’s delicious or even the correct order? What you may order may take a little more time to prepare. We want God’s best, let him take time to marinate what will bless your palette. If he made you a promise. He will fulfill it on His schedule. Let Master Chef put some extra love into what needs to love you perfectly.

Father teach me how to wait. What do you need of me in the interim? Waiting is weighty and let me tell you why. While you wait your literally taking on the weight of your call and assignment. You are increasing your intimacy with your first love. We must keep in mind that our bodies are not our own. We are bought with a price. God owns us but it’s our job to manage the vessel. Remind yourself that everything you do affects the whole. Consider how your actions can pollute your authentic witness and effectiveness. We can’t lead by living a lie.  This is a great time to ask yourself, Do I trust God? You’re probably saying of course I do. “I Luh God” (Mary Mary) but what does Faith have to do with celibacy or abstinence? … trust!

Trust is blind faith. I know that when we want to do the right thing evil is ever present (Romans 7:19-25). Can we trust God with our emotions and sex life? Or is He limited to bills, certain miracles, some signs, and wonders? He doesn’t have a glass ceiling; we create them with impatience mixed with unclear expectations. Do we trust Him to be the one to coordinate our relationships? Can we endure and fight this good fight with expectation? There is a great reward. Go after God with your whole heart. Withhold nothing let every part of us be for Him. He gave up everything to give us everything. Real love is about sacrifice. What can we give up in exchange for His reward? Isn’t He worth it?

There are so many benefits to abstinence or celibacy.

  1. Clearer mind and spirit
  2. No risk of unintentional pregnancies
  3. Protection for STD’s and STI’s
  4. Peace of Mind
  5. Boosts your immunity
  6. Avoidance of clouded decisions
  7. A chance to decipher if its love or lust
  8. Test the patience and respect of a partner
  9. Boosts anger management
  10. Increased strength in your stance
  11. A great opportunity to be used by God
  12. Time to get to know your partner for real
  13. Maintain a moral posture within your Christian walk

The choice is yours. Your life hands in the balance based on your obedience. The type of vows you make to God also determine the quality of life you experience.

Dear Leader Part 1

Dear Leaders,

Mom often used this old adage… “Encouragement sweetens labor”. My Pastor says, “Lovers are not like workers, they don’t burn out!”. With that being said, it is always wise to uplift your team. It will increase morale, and confidence in their roles as well as enhance productivity.

This is not flattery or vain words to boost an ego. Sincere recognition of one’s potential and acknowledgment of one’s efforts will go a long way. Real leaders recognize future leaders and do their best to develop and guide them. When someone is in an environment that is encouraging, their potential is being watered. The grounds of their abilities are limitless. They begin to perceive the vision and mission in new ways. They love what they do and enjoy being a part of the team.

These motivated individuals are most likely to go above and beyond what’s required and often take initiative. Oftentimes, people who feel overlooked and have no sense of belonging quit, fall back, experience a decline in work ethic, have poor attitudes and the list continues. They are not bad people; every plant needs water to survive. Leadership is responsible to create, maintain and enhance the work environment. It needs to be one that is conducive to growth, and overall health with a goal to yield maximum and desired results.

There Are No Wrong Answers

Oh, we’re familiar with the term “there are no wrong answers” but that’s just a cliche. 

In actuality there are wrong answers, and it shouldn’t be a crime to state that fact. However, it should be considered a teachable moment and a chance to enlighten someone.

As a former instructor, I noticed something in the classroom. My students were reviewing their vocabulary words and responded well when I used certain verbiage. If they raised their hand to participate, it meant that they were bold or courageous enough to have the spotlight on means they actively wanted to take part. I honored their boldness but if an answer was given contrary to what was correct, I would simply say “that’s incorrect but try again” or not quite but I see where you were going with that”. It’s imperative not to demean or shame anyone while they are yet trying.

“There are no wrong answers” is a cliche. It is a statement used by instructors, speakers and teachers to encourage participation by all. An indirect push to be vulnerable amongst their peers. The ultimate goal is to create a safe space and learning environment that was conducive to accommodate mistakes. I firmly believe in correcting them. 

If someone were to write a thesis on apples when clear instructions were given to discuss oranges. It’s an indication that someone received the information poorly, failed to thoroughly process or just blatantly did what they wanted. This a great opportunity to see where their head, locate their perspective sat and offer some redirection. This warrants an explanation of the instructions and taking the time out to provide clarity. Maybe there is a proficiency in learning. My goal is to understand what they understand. Does this pupil have difficulty or is it them being stubborn? Definitely something to take note of.

What am I trying to say? It’s definitely not a debate on whether the statement should be used but rather a moment to declare that words matter. How you say things has equal importance. An Instructor, Leader or Teacher or even parent literally has the power and influence to affect a student’s life and learning experience. They either inspire, cause you to dig deeper and think more critically, reassess and evaluate or your approach can hinder and destroy the joy of learning. These are far beyond little moments in class. The way the foundations of a “wrong” is handled is critical to personal development and can be carried through life.  They can make someone feel empowered, humiliated or spark a desire to challenge authority because they feel a need to be defensive. 

These foundations of education have lasting effects. Later in life, when challenged they can easily fold or have a growth mindset. A mindset that doesn’t limit progress. It’s okay to mess up but learn from the mistake and fail forward. Others will walk around defeated and inspired. Yet, there will be the ones with delusions of grandeur, the coddled one who is kept in a state of ignorance based upon the confirmation in their wrong. The do no wrong crew. 

Balance in life is necessary for development. It teaches you resilience, acceptance, grit and determination, gratitude and less stressful life full of anxiety. They say it takes a village to raise one child and I agree. One droplet doesn’t create a wave; movement occurs when we are united in the same direction!

Under Attack: Believer’s Warfare

My Mom warmed me about the days ahead. She advised me to know the word of God before I had to. She meant that the word would be removed or challenged. One day, I will have to defend it, it would be in my best interest to become one with it. I can say almost twenty years later, I can see everything she said manifest before me. The next attack will be on the church not necessarily via bombs and other forms of mass destruction.

Right now, the biggest allegiance and influence is the LGBTQIA+ Community. I have nothing against people’s personal and intimate choices. However, I know for sure that anything opposing that population is a direct threat to freedom, equality, human rights, nature and considered a form of bias or judgement. The body of Christ has been taking a stand and they will not compromise their values or conform. It is their right to be firm in their core values and Biblical principles.

It’s not about choosing a side but taking a stand. Everyone has the right to stand up for what they believe in, but the church is frowned upon when they do. Churches who don’t confirm to new ideologies and systems will be diametrically opposed. Thier views will be targeted and not tolerated. We are living in a society that encourages open minded behavior and that’s fine. We should all be open to everyone without discrimination. However, the glossaries of what discrimination is has transformed. Today, its blend in or stand out. The ones who fail to embrace the viewpoint of world will soon be ostracized.

There is no way that church, and state will ever see eye to eye. Politics often interferes will basic activities and community involvement creating red tape and gray areas for concession. Someone ends up compromising and when that occurs, there are repercussions. The Believers perspective does not align with the world because we are not of this world and will not conform. We are called to love without any form of nepotism or preference doesn’t say that our speech has to be symmetrical.

Before you get upset, uptight, enraged or irate. Please know that is not an attack on anyone. The point is that one group takes up precedence in this world and if we (the church) fail to embrace or accept certain lifestyles, there will be hell to pay. Yes, there are gay churches and ministry leaders everywhere and everyone has their unique voice. However, the concern is on reverse the discrimination. If a group disagrees, now they are failing to be inclusive and fail to embody Jesus’ love. That is not a mature response but a form of bullying. If everyone in a group decides to go to dinner and one person orders a burger while everyone else has chosen a healthier option, it’s not right for them to gang up on that person. That individual has their right, their choice because it’s their body. If were saying that everyone has the right to choose, then the church has a right to disagree. No debate has ever existed with both teams being “pro” everything. In life, everyone will not be on the same side. We don’t have to agree on everything however, respect should always be present.

Right now, there has been a sudden increase of Ministry leadership in the news. Many images and videos have gone viral. None of the content is inspiring or positive. Just vocal fools and fallen soldiers who made mistakes. What the world does not understand is that Christianity is a vast umbrella. It’s easy to claim and stand under whether its core values are upheld or taken seriously or not. Many use the label or identify as Christian who do not follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. Since Christianity is widely accepted and do not have specific identifiers it’s easy to claim. Other religious groups wear certain attire, colors or garments that are significant to their culture. Christianity is Kingdom, a culture of acceptance of everyone. So, you’ll see various races, socio-economic backgrounds, status and even attire. We are very much inclusive and not exclusive to a certain race, culture or any other label. When one opens their mouth or lives a certain lifestyle, that’s how we are identified. Unfortunately, we had some horrible brand ambassadors who failed at their one job. Some of the leaders we see, may not have been called by God but took it upon themselves to lead, affecting and infecting lives. Others are just people who “fell from grace”. They made mistakes. I thought it was human to error but when you’re a Christian nobody leaves room for your humanity and the possibility that were fallible beings.

The crazy thing about it is, when one falls from grace, it mars and can disfigure the image of everyone else associated. The world has an image of perfection of the church. If we really knew Christ or His word, we would know that He perfects us daily, not asks us to be perfect; there is a difference. He comes to enhance our lives so areas of trauma, weakness or delay he makes better it’s a form of perfection. There is an unrealistic expectancy of the life we live.

Christians are to be world leaders and real-life superheroes. Expressing Gods love, light, mankind a difference, expressing benevolence and taking a stand, when necessary, not to be punks. To spread the gospel and live Christ -centered focused on the essence of Christian living. There are many authentic Christians but the few who have distorted our image, degraded leadership and, desecrated the name of God are the stories and people who are the main focus. We have forgotten the whole and put a small group under a microscope and magnified it for the world to see.

However, there is coming a time when the real Believers will be needed and whose authenticity will be contagious. There is coming a time when the church will take back its rightful place and be the pillars that the community and society at large will respect. Things are being shaken back into place and sorted and sifted. There is coming a time when we will have to make a decision about who we serve so we can no longer confuse those observing and studying our lives. The distinction will be made. In the meantime, I ENCOURAGE all believers to endure during their assignments, stay grounded in God’s word and know who you are. Remember you are an heir to the throne of Heaven. You’re a child of God whom he loves and has a plan in the midst of evil plots. You are critical to the preservation of this planet and that will never change. Keep being the light, keep spreading the gospel, keep being love. Authenticity is that flashlight in the midst of a storm, the belly of a cave or in the darkest hour.