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Sonic the Hedgehog Movie Review

I believe that the Sonic the Hedgehog movie was more than just your averaged feel-good movie filled with action and adventure. There is an undertone of understanding your power and the power of acceptance.

The Hedgehog named Sonic is the main character. He grows up sheltered because he was born gifted and couldn’t control or understand his power nor the way the world worked. He was able to use his gift and master skills but he had much to learn about life, interaction with others, social cues, and the perception of danger.

After losing a parent tragically, he has to grow up fast taking care of himself and living in the shadows. Hiding to keep his gifts from being exposed in fear of being captured. I learned that powerful people will always have a target on their backs. People who are different aren’t understood, they are first judged. There is another group of people who are eager to control, manipulate, and use those who are different or vulnerable  in order to feel powerful. Have you ever noticed that most villains had some tragic life event they never healed from? They end up bitter and evil and that’s where narcissism, evil, arrogance, and world domination come from. Most villains wear their insecurities as garments to seek control and simultaneously revenge by projecting their feelings onto the innocent.

Sonic dealt with just that. An evil dominating figure who used technology and achievements to create a grandiose self-image to mask his low self-worth and past. Sonic was seen as an outsider and a threat.  He was pursued but what the mad scientist didn’t understand was the power of acceptance and community. Sonic developed a trusting relationship and was genuinely loved and accepted. Someone took time to know him and see him for who he was. They didn’t want to consume or smother his gifts but teach him how to operate in wisdom and discretion.

They also taught him balance. He got the lesson of a lifetime by learning that “all his life he didn’t have to fight” (or in this case run). There was no longer a need for a “ring of escape” with a “ring of support”. Someone had his back this time, finally, he was not alone. He can finally pause and slow down. His friends welcomed him into their lives, home, family, and most of all hearts and that’s what the real connection was about. Fur or skin they connected on human values and issues and established common ground. We all need that to go where we are loved and settle where we are accepted. I learned that inclusion and equity are not the same. One action says “I’m tolerating your presence” while the other boldly proclaims that “you are welcome and have a place here”.

“there was no longer a need for a ring of escape with a ring of support!”

Sonic participated in the exchange of love, friendship, and acceptance. He taught others that what they thought of as mundane, or average was something special and to be grateful. He had a new perspective on life and the world the humans lived in within the small town. What he witnessed was trust, honor and community and he highlighted the fat that they should never take it for granted. Sonic was privileged to experience what most crave, a healthy relationship. I have a few questions for you…

  1. Are the people in your life reciprocating love and support?
  2. Are you in an environment where you are accepted?
  3. Is your voice respected? and is there autonomy?
  4. Do you feel seen, heard, and understood?
  5. Do you feel safe and protected?
  6. Are there balanced relationships?
  7. What do you define as a healthy community?

If you answered “no” to any of these questions, what would you do to change it? We’re not going to make it in this world alone. We need the right people to endure challenges, help us realize our full potential, grow and accept the dreams really do come true.

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WHAT’S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

SOMETIMES LOVE ISN’T ENOUGH!

So many are in search of a soulmate, their “person” and in love with love. However, there comes a time when you have to get your head out of the clouds and make strategic decisions that are far above your feelings.

Many arrive at that place in their relationship when things have intensified and are very serious. In the season that considers marriage and another level of commitment, there is a lot to consider. You’re going to make a vital decision that will shift the entire trajectory of your life. Understanding the severity of this single decision is key. It will affect every aspect of your daily life, success, and overall wellness.  

If you are planning and considering a union, then it is safe to say that you are in love. Besides obvious feelings and emotions, there are many things to analyze, discuss, disclose, and explore. We often believe that we are loving with “our eyes open” but in actuality, love has overpowered your senses. Something could be right under your nose or in your face but for some reason, it is undetectable and overlooked. I ask the question…are you capable of recognizing red flags or are you color blind? Are you only listening to your heart?

Everything isn’t as it seems. Taking a step back typically helps you locate the item. Temporarily moving from an environment that is fragrant-filled will make you recognize the distinction when you return. A chance to observe outside the stage of euphoria. A chance to put aside all the wonderful things you love about your partner and get real. All of this is necessary to make level-headed decisions to ensure your life is enhanced and not destroyed. I am not saying to break up. Please understand that sometimes when many date they lose sight of all the things they were and fail to connect with others to add balance. Dr. Cortney Bradley speaks about “expiring your prior”. Whoever you were before you got into this relationship, maintain it. Don’t allow people to come into your life and take you away from people, places, activities, routines, and beliefs to turn you into someone they could love.  Love is a risk you take with heart but should not be in the equation alone because what you love may not love you back or even benefit your life.

There is a reason why hindsight is considered 20/20. After some time, those high levels of dopamine and your chemical highs begin to settle, you begin to think more clearly. Some weigh their relationships by the metaphor of seeing the glass as half empty or half full. These major life decisions can’t be based on love alone. I challenge you to evaluate your partner in a similar manner. See them as a vessel that is either empty, fully overflowing, or broken. Half full or half empty is irrelevant because vessels can be easily refilled or emptied out.

Let’s delve deeper…

1. EMPTY: You cannot pour from an empty cup to give what you haven’t got. Some people are patient and are willing to take time to pour into their partner. They are hoping and believing that eventually, there will be substance to receive. This vessel can be special because it is full of potential for major capacity.

2. FULL: A full vessel can be exciting. It may seem like it’s packed with everything you desire. Full isn’t always a good thing. Someone can be full of themselves, issues from their past and so many unfavorable things. Evaluate their fullness and substance. Is this person full of love that will spill over? Is the fullness admirable characteristics or full of red and neon signs? What are you willing to accept?  Ask questions such as “is there any room for personal growth?… and is there room for me?

3. BROKEN: The final category. BEWARE!! And be very careful. The optimistic lover and person with a hero complex will see the potential here. Being positive and believing in someone’s growth is beautiful, however most people like where they are or are stuck somewhere you cannot help them move out of. You will recognize some room and space for development. Many will remain and try to work things out saying, “No one is perfect!”. It’s justified love. Making excuses to cover them because, after all, they are not bad people just have some intense issues.  When you are in love you are so eager to help, heal, and repair… newsflash! You cannot do it. You see some capacity but at some point, this person is incapable of holding on to what you give and unable to adequately pour back. There is a lack of flow, and you may be left dehydrated. The sharpness of the broken pieces is often fragments of deep trauma, pain, toxic traits, and unfavorable habits. These sharp edges can easily puncture what is authentic, tender, and vulnerable. It’s either you handle it with care or stand clear. A cut may appear to be simple, and you bandage it with forgiveness and much work. You may continue to bleed only to find out that although small, the cut is deeper than you initially accessed. Now you’re losing blood. Blood is a valuable source of life, oxygen, and nutrients. Bleeding is a depletion of energy and life that’s irreplaceable. You will recognize symptoms such as feeling emotionally fatigued, suffocation, or as if you are dying slowly (“Killing Me Softly”). It’s high time to reevaluate. This is now a wound and you may need assistance.

It’s imperative to know yourself and be strong as you stand knowing your worth is immeasurable. To know your standards and be self-aware. Did this vessel add to me or deplete me? It’s imperative to seek God via prayer and medication. Be bold enough to ask questions and courageous enough to accept his answers. God and therapy can help you heal and regain strength. Life is not over. Know that your heart is resilient, and you will bounce back. Sometimes, love isn’t enough, you need critical thinking not paranoia. You need to be analytical and honest by asking the right questions to gain clarity and a refined perspective. For resources in relation to love, communication, and analysis; check out my new book ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. ATC is a writing prompt to assist you with those hard questions, explore and discover, and gain clarity.

ALL THINGS CONSIDERED: 100+ Discussion Prompts For Deeper Connections: Renee, Chrissy: 9798859889907: Amazon.com: Books

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Life’s a Classroom

Love is more than an emotion, it’s a skill!

According to my Mentor, Dr. Courtney M. Bradley relationships can be metaphorically compared to classrooms. It’s a place where learning and understanding are put to the test. A place where growth is both optional and speculative. You have to choose growth and your definition of what growth looks like is your own. It’s the place where participation is necessary to enhance your learning experience. A place where one can be on repeat with the promotion in doubt and outgrow a space because they sat there too long with delayed understanding. Bradley spoke about “failing grades”. As you sit in Life’s classroom, it’s critical to really pay attention. Get all the lessons you need to learn and use them to propel you forward as you become better and not bitter. If you are not growing, then you are considered unhealthy. Growth should be inevitable, but we allow ourselves to be stagnated and be delayed. When aspects don’t experience growth, it’s considered to be disabled. This means that there is a slowing or lack of progression. Ask yourself if your love is healthy or disabled?

Bradley also mentioned summer school. Summer school is an intensive course with a limited time frame. It’s the thick of it the heat is up. The time when ultimatums are high in your environment. The pressure is on. It’s quick and you need to make up for lost time or forfeit progression. A short amount of time to get it together because you took the other seasons you had together for granted. The last thing you want to do is get frozen in this position. Like Toni Morrison, it can be “the coldest winter” skipping over the fact that you fell in love. Only hoping to spring into the new but you first must be new. 

When class is in session. Your chances of passing are great when you have the right tools, instruction, and opportunity.  You must be intentional about success and also aware of your level of competency. Is your love of geometrics aligned? Can you do the math to add up what’s been going on? Are you able to take away selfishness? Are you capable of diving your time? Is your parent thesis blocking your communication? Are issues exaggerated to the tenth power? Is forgiveness exponentially displayed? How about your tools? Do you pencil in dates still? Are you allowing God to be the protractor and compass? If so to what degree?

Are you attentive? Are the fruit of the spirit in your possession? What’s in your bag? What you carry around so walks volumes to your preparedness for success. 

With the right tools, guidance, and willingness to learn, you’ll do more than survive, you’ll thrive. There are so many ways you can pass the test of time. With the option of the open book exams. When information is not width drawn or withheld but you must do the work to search. A willingness to take time to scan and observe so you can absorb. Another option for passing is by asking questions, being honest about shortcomings, and requesting assistance. This may require your partner to overcome while they tutor you or give instructions. Nobody has it all together so it’s imperative to approach each classroom with a growth mindset and not a fixed one. A fixed mindset thinks they have reached the pinnacle and do not expand or learn more. They believe their ability to expand and broaden their perspective is set in stone. If you don’t believe you can acquire more knowledge, then you won’t. Not being teachable is a poor trait and just when you’re out to the test you feel vulnerable and exposed. 

Some projects require a partner and others a solo act. Our problem is we want to switch behaviors that don’t match what is expected. Each assignment comes with instructions. It’s up to us to make the effort to read or study the material. When your classmate has a question, do you dismiss it or use it as an opportunity for growth or to provide insight? How do you handle your environment? 

There are different types of learners, and we must expect that from our partners. Don’t think of yourself as an AP student and your partner in remedial. Even the Plainfield in your heart and mind. Your partner may not understand things the way you do and may require extra time. What’s your level of patience like? 

We must major in the art of not knowing (Bishop T.D. Jakes) but minor in ourselves (levels of pride). The only way to gain an understanding of the next is to submit it to the teacher. To yield to the environment, do your part and take assignments seriously. Be transparent about what you don’t know or haven’t been exposed to. Establish a routine and find strategies. Remember participation can be 50% of your grade. So don’t just show up but be “present”. Lastly, you’re not taking this class alone so let commutation be a driving force with your study buddy and earn the accolades together.

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Abuse before Abuse

Simply put, abuse is defined as improper use or treatment. When it comes to relationships, everyone has different mental models. It is our lens of how we define and justify certain behaviors. Our mental models teach us to reject or accept behaviors and shapes our own behavior. It is our perspective based on our upbringing, past experiences.

For those predisposed to abuse, you are somewhat desensitized. You don’t realize how accustomed you are to certain traits. You may dislike certain things, but the process of acceptance tells you subconsciously that this is life, this is just the way things are. Maybe this is just the way things are meant for you. Its all a lie.

For others, its an initial shock; “the I cant believe they did…” moment. When you blame yourself for not defending yourself and acceptance of certain behaviors. Many are so desperate to be married or in a relationship that they keep lying to themselves thinking it will get better soon. He or she will and can change. They won’t don’t try to convince yourself.

There are several warning signs that we should be mindful of. A lot of times, physical abuse begins with verbal and mental control. If you can break someone down emotionally and mentally manipulate them, chances are you can move on to physical encounters.

Many abusers are great pretenders. They are socialites that know how to sweet talk and impress an entire room. They are charismatic and easy going. If anyone wherever to disclose poor behaviors, it would be hard to believe. The most dangerous people are not the ones with the obvious outburst but the secretive and private behaviors. In public, you will notice a drastic change in behavior. They are holding your hand, showing affection, sharing stories of your love and the charade is on like prime-time television. They may whisper sweet nothings in the moment and have what I call “photo op moments”. If something is being recorded or photos are taken, they know how to play their part. In private, you will notice their behavior switches right off. You do not have to say anything they are suddenly cold. Nothing you do is ever good enough for them. The praise they once sung disappears. They do not wish to be affectionate or kind with their words. Some words are often appalling and degrading.

Name calling is very prevalent, or you may you experience double sided compliments. Statements vary like “ You look pretty, tonight but you just gotta fix your teeth and you’ll be fine” to “You’re so lucky, I never date African American women, I only date Hispanic ones and for some reason I find you attractive. The list can go on and on. Those compliments are loaded with insults and they speak volumes as to the state of their heart and posture towards you.  Real love will never have you insecure where you were once confident, break you down or make you feel small. Love builds, encourages, and esteems highly.

Staring arguments where your always to blame, deflecting thier issues on you is a form of abuse.

Some abusers will embarrass you publicly and have you mentally controlled. They hold something above you to keep you in the relationship where you feel trapped and that this person in some way cares. You want to leave but then analyze other acts and convince yourself that this person is not all that bad.

Some abusive partners start fights with you or blames you for issues that have nothing to do with you directly. They will find a way to put the focus and attention back on you if ever challenged. Some who experience outburst also find a way to justify their actions and tell you if you had not have said or something wrong then they would have no reason to react this way. You are the trigger; you are the problem. Don’t hold your head down and don’t accept that. 

It’s okay to take a stand for yourself and be assertive in a conversation. Some partners believe in monologues where you are not allowed to express your displeasure or opinion. Those are sure signs of abuse. You may have never be physically struck but it is still abuse. Any form of psychological game or manipulation, verbal degradation (abrasiveness) or force will for any reason at all is ABUSE.

If just the thought of your partner coming close, coming home or being in your vicinity makes your nervous that is a neon flag not to ignore. Whether you are in a committed relationship or married, for someone to force themselves on you without consent is abuse. If they ignore your audible plead to cease an action and they justify forced sex as a duty or your obligation… I am so sorry to tell you this, but it is abuse. If they do not care about how you feel emotionally and physically it is a sure sign that this was not a match made in Heaven. It is safe to call it hell.

You don’t deserve this!!

Sometimes, abusers are great with words, they are often controlling and narcissists. Sometimes we look at a person’s history and say to ourselves “well they were abused as a child, I have to teach them how to love”. You cannot pour into anything with a lid. People like that are already full of their past and their own evil mental models that shaped their thinking. My friend Jeremiah Ware revamped the adage by saying “Hurt people, hurt people but {healed people help people}.” It is not your duty to heal anyone or attempt to help. They need divine and professional help to unpack whatever internal battles they are experiencing.

If any of this is hitting home, please seek help. There is no shame in wanting a better life. You deserve to be treated with respect. Whether or not you see yourself as valuable, please know that you are not stupid, ugly or undesirable. Everyone is worthy of love. You are not broken, you’re not a “hot mess”. You can experience real love but let it begin within.

Please reach out to a Clergy member, hotline, or center for abuse. Your voice matters don’t let your experiences put you in a box of shame. When life deals you a tough hand, its an opportunity to learn your own resilience and discover your own strength. Be well!