When folks are determined not to get to know you or fail to interact they will find all excuses to justify their social bias. Just like pictures are worth a thousand words, it’s the same for body language. Speech, behavior, and interaction(or lack thereof) speak volumes. Things such as ostracism, love, toleration, or a sense of belonging are all factors we can feel and interpret.

I want to focus on toleration vs. acceptance. These are silent but huge factors of life. We have things we say and don’t say. Sometimes it’s a huge conversation and other times it’s the big elephant in the rooms that leaves people feeling awkward and left to make assumptions. Someone needs to hear this, toleration isn’t love. It has no place in any sincere relationship. It’s either you are with me or your not. It is time to make things black and white, no shades of gray. The days where we accepted Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde relationships and personalities are over. We all need to choose. When I say choose, I mean take a stand, not to pick a side. Let’s have those difficult conversations and figure out if we would be open enough to accept new and different people or chose to live life in a clique or box rejecting everyone that doesn’t resemble, speak, act or relate to you like your circle does. You may ask “why tolerate someone I would just leave them alone?” Glad you thought about it…

Some have a “good Samaritan” syndrome where they want to look good for doing good and being in your life. It’s a nice story to tell a version that’s plastered with facades and ulterior motives. Other’s may tolerate you because they feel they owe you something and aim to even the score. For some it could be pitiful posture, maybe you have endured a series of unfortunate events and circumstances, and you are kept around because some form of guilt or pity is present. Another type would tolerate you because you bring something undeniable to the table that they need. You may not be needed but your gifts, talents, and abilities serve some purpose they can use. Very few will embrace you because their hearts are open and TRUST me you will KNOW the difference.

Real love and acceptance aren’t things that can be faked. It is so palpable and tangible and permeates leaving you with no doubt. If you have a general problem of accepting or recognizing love in its authentic form then that’s another blog topic to do a deep dive in. For those who may be empaths or empathic and aware, picking up social cues is innate. Your ability to decode and interpret may be keen. Your emotional intelligence can feel like a blessing and a curse. You can’t discern the difference so I encourage you to trust your gut.

Never compromise peace and your emotional well-being just to be surrounded for a moment. If you haven’t already, you would experience and void and emptiness that pretense cannot fill. Love really does concur all. If you’re going to love, do it hard, go full throttle, and be sincere. You never know who needs all of your genuineness. We speak so much about philanthropy and giving back but sometimes the best change and impact you can do in the world around you is to present real love, accept someone for who they are entirely, and let them know how you feel. Whose life have you impacted lately?

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