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A Whole New World

RETURNING TO NEW NORMS AFTER A TWO-YEAR PANDEMIC!

WOW! I feel like Aladdin in his self-titled film. I am way out of my element as I enter the workforce and civilization after two years of being “sheltered”. Many of you have read about my COVID positive experience where I encountered a near-death encounter. Unlike some, the road to recovery has been a long and hard one.

After relearning how to walk and talk again, I thought the battle was almost over. As a dancer and singer, being able to sing a melody and do a small step were major victories for me. Those are things I never thought I would be able to do again. Although breathing was still short and my balance was still shakey, I was excited about the progress and just wanted to get back into the swing of things. I wasn’t ready for full-on routines nor could I sing a song without getting winded but at least I could take care of myself again. It’s such a blessing to be able to practice personal hygiene without assistance. It felt amazing to move without an oxygen tank attached to me. It felt incredible to go a few feet without an asthma attack or extreme exacerbations. Finally, life would go back to normal. Little did I know it was one of many phases.

The lingering phase that became a prominent issue was mental health. Dealing with PTSD from traumatic experiences from my hospital stay, to survivor’s remorse as I watched loved ones and strangers become memories. It was followed by the stages of grief that didn’t have an order but a relentless presence. I toggled between anger and sadness, full-on depression. It was paralyzing and left me suspended within a state. For those who understand coding and computer information systems, it was an “if-then” statement that looped without an “end if” present. Searching for a door, a way out, a symbol of hope until my faith in Christ embraced me and nursed me back to health. I also connected with a therapist who highlighted the fact that I was so resilient. This gave me the strength and confidence to continue on. This process took about a year and a half to recover from. You’re probably like okay, this is good getting better right? Well, king of. I still had a few physical lingering ailments that limited my ability to stand, sit and function normally. My lungs took a major hit and being an asthmatic didn’t make this a walk in the park. Walking a few feet was a challenge and I wondered how life would change. Eventually, I got healed, thank the Lord. I started regaining the full function of my limbs. It took two years! Yes, you read that correctly, it has been a full two years! I don’t regret a thing. God allowed me time to heal in various ways, catch my breath, and gain clarity in my vision. Being close to death will shift your perspective very quickly. I returned home with a new zeal to do something more than I have before but this time for myself.

During this time, finding work remotely seemed like the only option but that didn’t go in my favor. I got serious about blogging, moved, continued working hard in school (GO EAGLES), wrote a children’s book, started working on becoming a Certified Life Coach, started the process to become a Licensed Insurance Broker, and started my own business. I took care of my mental health and picked up both old and new hobbies. I aimed to be productive every day until something else worked in my favor. Finally, after two years and tons of applications, I get a job offer.

Change ahead sign

This new job came with minimum perks but required me to make a maximum sacrifice regarding my health and time. I was instructed to get vaccinated or failure to do so will discontinue this process. This scared me because of negative reviews and things I overheard some factual others not so much. I moved out of state, this meant traveling from one state to another with the risk of being exposed on public transportation to strangers and their germs. The subway? I have been home this entire time. I got adjusted to focusing on my own endeavors and doing it on my own time. I also got adjusted to what others would consider “cabin fever”. I barely traveled and when I did, I was in a private vehicle. I guess that made me a bit spoiled but now here I was, required to move around in a city I left but no longer understood.

Everything felt so new, so different and so strange. the subways were no longer crowded as it was before. I was aware that the crime rate increased tremendously so you can imagine how someone with anxiety would feel about this new experience. There are barely tellers available to ask for help and machines seem to be more prevalent. There were even new payment systems in place. Welcome to OMNY! Oh wow, those were the devices they were installing before the world got infected, how interesting. People were more skeptical than ever interacting with strangers who needed guidance or direction. Restaurants and common places like Dunkin Donuts no longer had seats, obvious hint to grab and go. Carbon footprint increased I see, everyone prefers Lyft and Uber as well as the comfort of their own vehicles. People I met who were so were apprehensive about handshakes and interaction. People finally gave each other space (six feet) in this crowded state which I seem to enjoy. Wow, I can go on so many changes, so many new norms.

An image of a road sign arrow old life – new life

People have been fighting to get things back to “normal” but the world as we knew it is officially over. We look at shows like the Jetson’s and even look at movies such as “WALL-E” and say hey that’s funny, so not reality or “that will never happen”. The funny thing is, it can very well become our reality. As things occur and we adapt, the major factor that remains is our dependence on smart devices and equipment. Robots are not the future, they are integrated now. Life from this point requires adjustment.

It is a whole new world, new rules of engagement, and a NEW lifestyle. What I learned from Aladdin is to just be yourself. Find ways to fit in our new society on my own. A new mentality and inner strength are required to address what is ahead. The only thing that will function amid dysfunction is faith in Christ. The road ahead is full of uncertainty, inquiries without direction, and much concern. People are desensitized to the needs of others, destruction, and even world events. Hearts have grown cold. Right now, Russia and Ukraine are feuding and only God knows what domino effect may occur. Bible talks about wars and rumors of wars and gives us prophetic insight as to what the last days would look like. If it’s not one thing it’s another and it’s affecting all of us. Without God, we will not make it. Wealth won’t help when struggles are psychological. Status won’t help when challenges are social and racial. The list goes on, I just want to encourage you that no matter what changes, God will never change on us, He will never leave or forsake us, we are not alone (Hebrews 3:15. He is consistent and faithful. Things feel new, but we serve a God who does all things new. Life with Him is an adventure. With Him, there is guidance, instruction, and direction. He is our G.P.S- God’s Positioning System. We will not be lost or confounded but be people who are wise, insightful, and focused. We must continue to make an impact in this world and share the gospel.

The only choice to thrive is by adapting!- Chrissy Renee

Like Aladdin, our destiny awaits amid what looks hopeless and void. Your entry into your next season requires authenticity. You may be scared but if you are granted a seat at the table, it’s because you belong there. Others will be charged with creating and building their own. Everything will be new. Aladdin, coming from an impoverished environment to a lavish one by taking risks. CONTINUE to trust God in your business and life decisions. Life can change in the blink of an eye and it will come with twists and turns without that “magic carpet ride” feeling but it will be okay. God wants to restore hope. People today are struggling with hopelessness but there is hope. There are yet rooms your name preceded your presence. The wealth of the wicked is laid up for you. Above all things, God’s desire for us is for us to prosper in every facet of our lives. (3 John 1:2). When things are new we tend to run or operate in fear and that’s completely normal behavior. However, we were given a disadvantage of favor and divine intervention. Embrace this whole new world, find your place, bring change, do your part, and watch God work on, in, and through you. Embrace all that’s new and evolve because sometimes the only way to thrive is to adapt.

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Lose to Win

They say that “experience is the best teacher”, that’s speculative but I agree in some sense. In life, sometimes you gotta lose enough times to build a strategy from the ground up, gain insight, or see things from a different perspective. These are the defining moments in our lives where we get “gritty” and hungry enough to get the mindset to succeed. We gain strength, a backbone, agility, and tenacity to win. Losing isn’t fun but it’s a part of life. Now one we should embrace and get comfortable with but know it’s a temporary place of disappointment and use it as a stepping stone for forwarding movement and learning. Dr. Courtney M. Bradley says “you can have a situation but the situation doesn’t have to have you!”.

Losing teaches you about what you have within you. Nothing is more revelatory than the times of distress or trouble when we discover who we are and what we possess within. I encourage you not to give up. Oftentimes, our eyes (vision) can get adjusted to the darkness that sudden light will shock and be hurtful. However, if you keep some light on (hope) you will be able to handle the light in its fullness and adjust smoother. You must remain hopeful and remain prepared for when that light opportunity comes bursting through. Sometimes we lose so much that when a win happens, we don’t know how to recognize, receive or rejoice in it. It’s like that now but it would not always be like this forever. Try again, dry your eyes again, stand again, create again, believe again, and dream again but bigger. SUCCESS IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF DISAPPOINTMENT!. YOU CANNOT GIVE UP NOW, YOU MUST SEE AND WITNESS THE SUN-RISE AT THE HORIZON.

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CHANGE & GROWTH

Heraclitus once said, “the only thing constant is change”.  I concur, change is a shift, a minute or drastic modification is an inevitable part of life. As the world turns on its axis, new generations shift cultures and the natural progression of life exists; it’s the same for personal growth.

Personal growth requires a growth mindset. The mentality that has no limitations. This type of person has a genuine love for learning, exhibits grit, sees problems as a challenge, and believes that abilities are not fixed. You can enhance anything and learn new skills.  Oftentimes people say the desire to change something that’s unfavorable but doesn’t have the right tools to make it happen. Change must be desired before it can be encouraged. An individual must have a strong conviction to alter some things whether internal or external. A true passion for growth and a need for development.

Don’t be afraid to evolve, its natural! – Chrissy Renee

The only way to grow is to change. If you don’t believe me, research life cycles. For instance, look at the butterfly or the developmental changes of a baby. We must understand that when we finally decided to be intentional about our lifestyle and its results, we must make some amendments. Adjustments first require.

  1. Made up mind
  2. Plan of action
  3. Daily routine
  4. Accountability partners
  5. Benchmarks
  6. Rewards
  7. Continuum of what is successful.

Once you have made up your mind and have made a cognitive shift, take the time to create a solid plan. We only fail because we fail in preparation. Design your course of action and have a bounce-back plan, not a backup plan. To create a backup plan, it’s subconsciously giving yourself an excuse to renege on your goal. Create a daily schedule to help you stay on track. Once you practice something day eventually it will become a habit. Once a habit is formed you can then develop a lifestyle that is your new nature.

Some things we cannot change on our own. This is a great time to locate some key partners for accountability. People that are firm, motivating, and encouraging to push you towards your desired destination. Within that journey you may get tired, question why you’re doing something, and attempt to give up. These individuals will help you realign your mentality on your journey.

Speaking of journeys, look at roads, highways, and bridges. There are significant markings on the path as you travel. There are signs and indications and instructions. Everything is purposed to keep you on target, within the right speed, safe, and provide directions. Along our journey to self-improvement and change, we need to set benchmarks. Make it clear, by this time, I would like to do “x” and highlight what tools, funds, people, deadlines, and important details to keep you on time and track.

When you get to a benchmark or have achieved something, please do yourself and favor and celebrate. Celebrate YOU, acknowledge your accomplishment, honor small victories, and take a moment to look at how far you have come. Don’t wait until you made a giant leap, keep yourself motivated by being proud of even the smallest steps. Reward yourself with a small gift, do something you’ve always wanted to do, or whatever reward is defined in your eyes.

When you have done a great job (mishaps and all) the only thing to do is to repeat the process. Work what is working. When you find it feasible do it on a broader scale. Let nothing stop you from achieving your dreams. Dreams can feel like a nightmare when they torment your mind unattained. I implore you to pursue passionately and don’t get distracted by negativity, failure, or lack of support. Whatever you put your mind to do, you can do it. That may sound like a cliché but why consider or dream at all if you don’t plan to make it a reality? If you’re reading this, just know someone is rooting for you, enjoy the journey!

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First Impressions

First impressions are not always accurate. We make assumptions about people all the time. Sometimes pre-exposed to information about them through another voice or lens that colors our perspective.

Some things will always look gray when it is white because you were conditioned to believe that. Mental associations are real and vivid. They often trigger memories of past experiences. One small detail that’s unfavorable can take you down the rabbit hole of negative thoughts and feelings. Sometimes, we just pull people apart in our minds… humans! We are quite interesting. We create mental images from someone’s speech, attire, demeanor, or vibe. Don’t get me wrong, there will be many times our intuition is correct, but we don’t like to admit the fact that there are many times that we are wrong.  I am a firm believer in getting to know someone for myself. To get to root before a conclusion about their leaves and fruit.

Have we ever stopped to think that maybe something was wrong at that moment or someone has changed? Life can truly humble a person and its lessons are often transformative. I met a young man at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Due to seating, we were placed next to each other. This gentleman seemed to be my type. He was well dressed and articulate which is a sure way to catch my attention. He talked about several of his personal and professional accomplishments but never truly seemed interested in my life. This monologue went on for some time. Ten minutes in and I was already turned off and the birthday boy was nowhere in sight. Eventually, I roamed the room (mostly to show off my amazing outfit) to greet others and get as far away from my table as I possibly can. Eventually, when I made it back, he was silent and so was I. I made it my duty to be polite but not to engage. Luckily, another woman caught his eyes. Years passed and we crossed paths again. I pushed him away while he pursued my attention. He was gentle, he asked questions and listened. I got to know him, and he explained why he was arrogant and self-centered. His culture and background taught him to be a certain way coming from a prestigious lineage. He had to develop certain skills and life did humble him. This gentleman eventually became a great friend. Imagine is my first impression was so ingrained that I never took the time to listen and learn?

How many of us do this with our own lives?  The impressions of ourselves that we obtained from our environmental encounters still very prominent. Those initial stages are often hard to let go. Impressionable ages where development was still in progress and events of misfortune, trauma and unfortunate circumstances that molded and shaped our thinking. It is the ingrained way we perceive the world and people we encounter slightly fragmented perspectives. All the “you’ll never amount to anything’s” and the list goes on from childhood and adolescence that lingers. The mental battle ground and inner dialogue that is often conflicting.  Life sometimes is unkind and it’s our resilience, faith and determination that has given us strength to continue. We often burry a lot of unwanted memories and mental pictures. However, my questions still stands. Did you give yourself another chance? You have learned and overcame but are you still haunted by invisible labels and tattoos? Many of us walk around with low self-esteem, self-fulfilling prophecies and with the imposter syndrome. Let’s talk about it.

A self-fulling prophecy is when we allow the negative expectations of others infiltrate our heart and we eventually believe it and act them out. Someone says, “you will be just like your father and do this” and you believe it to be true and fall right into the same trap. You could have been the change but everything around you pointed to the same road so you followed it. Create your own path? How? So, we do what is least challenging because it comfortable.

The imposter syndrome is quite interesting. Its feelings of inadequacy despite success and achievement. It is self-doubt that speaks louder than the reality of what you have attained or accomplished. Where did this voice come from? What happened? The root is something to address. These mentalities will turn your internal labels into tattoos if you let it. It often requires some form of intervention, therapy, or self-realization. I implore you to speak positively to yourself. The impression of you introduced to you is NOT you. Give yourself another chance. Every day you have life is another day to make a change. No its not an overnight process but one that requires practice. Practice affirmations and declarations in the mirror. Recite them until you believe them. It’s a hard reboot that’s necessary. That same energy we give to others when we develop an we allow to evolve or change, give to yourself. I’m here to say give yourself a break, applaud your efforts and be reintroduced to the new you. The overcomes, winner, the determined and resilient you. We all have a story but the fact your still standing says a lot. 

No one is perfect but develop a growth mindset. A growth mindset is embracing of facts but with courage and determination to make a change with some effort. Approaching what was once a challenge for you with fresh eyes and believing that favorable results will be your new norm and outcome. Do away with the fixed mindset. Your failures, shortcomings and struggles or past is not innate. Even if you mirror a loved one. You can’t keep telling yourself that you are like them. You can and will be better. Your roots are a part of your story. Roots are dark but leaves and the fruit of who you are is vibrant, tasty and beautiful. You have the opportunity to become photosynthesized by the shift of your mindset and live life in color. You’re the flower of your generation. Be great and BLOOM! 

In the words of Jay-Z, “allow me to reintroduce myself, my name is ——”. You fill in the blank with positive adjectives.