“Spin Da Block” is an urban term or slang that refers to the act of returning, another attempt, or a second chance. Think of it as walking around an actual block in circles. You are not truly distant, you’re in the area just not authentically present.
After a door is closed sometimes it serves as a reminder to keep it that way. We are sometimes too lenient and grant access to those who should remain outdoors. Knowing your worth will cause you to be very intentional about every connection. It will enable you to set standards, create boundaries, and abide by them.
Ask yourself “What type of people do I want to engage in my life?”, “Who and what no longer serves me?”, “Are the people I am surrounded by positive?” the list can continue forever. After establishing where you would like to go in your life, it’s imperative to surround yourself with like-minded individuals and be mindful of having healthy relationships.
Recognizing your worth is only the initial stage, being proactive about investing in yourself is another. Daily, we are challenged to choose right and to choose better than we did yesterday. Your emotional well-being and safety should be paramount on our lists.
When someone you were once romantic with or attracted to attempts to “spin da block” we often ask ourselves “What is it that this person wants THIS time”, insinuating that there was a level of engagement that had ended. Sometimes people enter a certain chapter of their lives and like to leave bookmarks. They “ghost” you or “leave you hanging”, wondering if you did something wrong or questioning what happened.
These types of individuals are great manipulators and often are masters of breadcrumbing and gaslighting. They like leaving a bookmark so they can pick up exactly where they left off with you. This prevents you from moving on to your next chapter. If they hold a key to your heart, this can be troubling and challenging. Some of us haven’t changed the locks to our hearts so they come and go as they please. We as humanity have to know when it’s time for a change. Let people circle all they want even to linger in front of your home but you do not have to answer.
Do that upgrade to your home (self), invest, pursue, expand, and broaden your horizons. When people are inside, they get comfortable and take advantage of the access but as soon as they are no longer permitted and see that enhancements are being made, they come running back and don’t allow it. Recognize that this is a game for most.
This doesn’t just apply to romantic connections; but to friends and other people who have displayed a toxic track record. You know the saying “When people show you who they are, believe them!”. Don’t just guard your heart (Bible) guard the entry and access points too. Sau “Yes!” to our best selves and say “No!” to all things and people contrary. Then you can make room for growth, development, inspiration, and ability to thrive. Remove that old bookmark and let the next chapter begin!
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When someone you were once romantic with or attracted to returns in your life.
People say money changes folks. We hear that argument all the time. Have we ever stopped to consider that maybe wealth or affluence strengthens and highlights the nature of some? We never stop to analyze someone’s roots as opposed to judging their leaves.
The easiest thing to say is “It’s all GREED!”. Many have allowed wealth or affluence to influence and inflate their perception of themselves. These people tend to forget who and what matters. Financial liberties remove certain obligations, fears, insecurities, and controls. Some may even feel invincible, they believe the world is their oyster and tend to live an entitled, bossy, demanding, and often selfish life. However, that’s not always the case.
Some people are intentionally deprived and neglected by a family member, caretaker, or even spouse. When the individual finally got stable, they ensured their mental and financial well-being was secure by keeping their distance. They didn’t change, they pretty much gave you the same energy in reverse. They haven’t forgotten. If someone truly meant you well and wanted to see you develop your financial gain should be celebrated, they owe you nothing if you helped them from an authentic place. What people do with their funds has nothing to do with anyone else. They are entitled to that perspective. After all, it is their money.
Financial freedom is literal independence. The joy of not relying on anyone else gives you confidence and autonomy. You do not have to comply with instructions or commands. You are free to make certain choices. When you’re dependent, that individual controls you and your money. Some of us have been there, life gets challenging, and you have faced home insecurity, and you’re left at the mercy of a friend or family member. Decisions you make are often funneled through their influence or demands. When you’ve worked hard to achieve your dreams and goals and finally get somewhere; you will ensure that all distractions, leeches, users, and manipulators are nowhere near you.
Others come from impoverished backgrounds. They have an intense background in harsh environments such as underserved communities and extreme poverty. They often fight to get out and stay out. These individuals often encounter people with low ambition, mentalities, or a limited view of the world and their future. Many have an attitude of entitlement or believe that because of their circumstance the government and everyone else owes them. C’mon it’s humanity reaching out right? WRONG! I come from a West Indian background we say “grabby grabby” and use other terms to state that people’s hands are always outstretched for something they didn’t work for. Look at how many countless celebrities have helped family members who only used them and sucked them dry. No ambition, no drive, no desire to grow. They are now the worst human being to ever live when choose to distance themselves. Your true colors have blurred lines of boundaries. Muggy consistency and unclear intentions.
Many are good people who had poor experiences. Financial abuse and trauma and then a life of comfort breeds stability which someone will fight to protect their status. Someone could be mistreated and when they attain their desired status, they feel no obligation to help or aid. Some people are so benevelant and they put boundaries in place to protect their assets which includes their heart.Howeverk, they gibve back to their community and ensure loved ones are invested in.
Your financial status is a huge aspect of your life journey. We are either a monster waiting to get out, eager to make change and reform, selfish, giving or greedy. Who you are you deep down only gets unlocked with wealth. Who are you? What is your character defined by?
Let them be confused about who you are now! (Divine Misunderstanding)
– DR. courtney m. bradley
When you look at the transgender community, you’ll see a people who are fully persuaded about their lifestyle. They are passionate about transformation and “becoming”. Similar to Michelle Obamas book, there’s a whole process to endure as you evolve into what is new and who you were intended to be.
It’s high time that the body of Christ adapts that mentality as well be tenacious about our walk. So what if people are stuck on who you used to be? Let them be confused about who you are now. Be bold about your stance and choice in Christ. Endure the process, go to great lengths and be excited about your original self being introduced to you. Be transformed unapologetically!
One of the biggest topics in the world is based on relationships. Relations are just interactions that develop, and form based on the level of access we give someone. Some grow, but all need to be managed. We’re all born with an innate desire for a sense of belonging and to connect with other human beings. How we pursue relationships to fill that void is another discussion.
Many are blessed to find and unite with their “person” or soulmate. Others are still searching or waiting to be found. Churches have dedicated group relationship status where they discuss lifestyles and tips to live a life aligned with that of Christ. With Christ as the center and core of our essence, the subject of dating gets interesting. Many acknowledge that they are “not just anybody therefore they cannot just be with anybody”- Bishop Mervin Harding. I completely agree, life as a Believer is a life souled out, set apart, and targeted. I’m not saying we cannot mingle with others who don’t share the same beliefs but being “unequally yoked” is a demise waiting to happen.
Being unequally yoked doesn’t always mean a Christian and Non-Believer are dating. It’s also dating another Christian of another denomination, has diametrically opposed views, and conflicting life practices and whose personal walk doesn’t reflect anything close to their profession. The world doesn’t respect Christianity not because of the many forms of it but because we don’t practice what we preach. Things are confusing because we’re not brand ambassadors staying on brand, we contradict. We somewhat believe the word and accept partial truths to mix in with our walk. This is why it’s imperative to have discernment and also seek God about who you connect to. We shouldn’t casually date, but date intentionally.
Be clear about your core values, boundaries, and challenges. It’s best to connect with a partner who can encourage you and push you to live your best life. A partner who understands your goal and your God. When you are secure in yourself and your standards, you should be strong enough to take a stand. Having the “sex talk” with your partner isn’t sinful it’s life. You both should be partnering to live life as a vessel that is pure and ready for God to use. If your partner wants, you to compromise or is getting aggressive it’s a red flag. If your desires don’t align then that’s something to discuss. Don’t get me wrong it’s not a walk in the park, being celibate. It is a challenge especially when your partner is “fine” and very attractive.
You may have an active imagination and may struggle in this area. No need for shame, it’s natural. Many musicians and Levites struggle with their flesh. Forerunners that carry the sound or glory will always get hit hard. Temptation means something offered to you that you like and desire. Nothing dangled in front of you will be unappealing. Please know that you’re not alone. No cold shower is going to help. These little tricks don’t do anything if you need deliverance in this area. It’s advised to find activities to substitute frustrations. It sounds like a cliché but talking to God about helping you through this will work. Be honest about where you are and venerable in your prayers. You don’t need Him to take away the passion you have just help you take it until it’s time to release it.
The word of God is a defense. If we hide the word, we might not sin against Him (Psalm 119:11) and keep our mind on things that will edify and feed our spirit. Know that music is masterfully crafted and also is a spiritual expression and experience. Guarding your ear gates is a necessary step. You can’t live in a bubble, but your eyes also need guarding. If you struggle with sexual addictions, then that’s a discussion for your Pastor and or Sex Therapist. It’s advised to find activities and ways to “cool down”.
Please be selective about the people you allow in your space and the places you choose to go. If you know you can’t handle certain environments do yourself a favor and turn down that invitation. Delete the numbers of those who are eager to see you cheat on your first love (Christ) and have no regard for your wishes. One thing I remind myself is that I’m heir to a celestial throne and the last thing I need to do is intentionally place myself in the midst of fire. As a musician or leader in ministry, whatever spirits we “exchange” or open up ourselves to we open a door for the enemy to infiltrate our encounters and environments. He comes to kill, steal, and destroy… remember? (John 10:10) He has no authority to harm you. He needs divine permission (see Job) or we make ways for Him to be comfortable.
We compromise and that’s why Believers are not respected. If you happen to fall, shake yourself and get back up. The enemy will make you feel conflicted, but the Holy Spirit will convict. The enemy will make you feel filthy but remind yourself that God’s desire is to give you a chance to be forgiven. Pastor Donnie sang “get back up again”. You’re still a child of God, do not cower don’t hide like Adam and Eve. God looks forward to dialogues with you. Regardless of your state whether you just fell, now standing, or have been running the race of celibacy for a while know that’s it’s worth the wait. Know you are more than a moment, you worth the wait. I think of it as the difference between fast food and a fine dining experience. Fast food is easy, cheap, and unhealthy but it’s great for a moment. There are no real nutrients. Substance comes from a well-cooked meal. If you go to an elite restaurant and order its best, there is a wait time. You may see everyone around you getting what they order ahead of you but who said it’s delicious or even the correct order? What you may order may take a little more time to prepare. We want God’s best, let him take time to marinate what will bless your palette. If he made you a promise. He will fulfill it on His schedule. Let Master Chef put some extra love into what needs to love you perfectly.
Father teach me how to wait. What do you need of me in the interim? Waiting is weighty and let me tell you why. While you wait your literally taking on the weight of your call and assignment. You are increasing your intimacy with your first love. We must keep in mind that our bodies are not our own. We are bought with a price. God owns us but it’s our job to manage the vessel. Remind yourself that everything you do affects the whole. Consider how your actions can pollute your authentic witness and effectiveness. We can’t lead by living a lie. This is a great time to ask yourself, Do I trust God? You’re probably saying of course I do. “I Luh God” (Mary Mary) but what does Faith have to do with celibacy or abstinence? … trust!
Trust is blind faith. I know that when we want to do the right thing evil is ever present (Romans 7:19-25). Can we trust God with our emotions and sex life? Or is He limited to bills, certain miracles, some signs, and wonders? He doesn’t have a glass ceiling; we create them with impatience mixed with unclear expectations. Do we trust Him to be the one to coordinate our relationships? Can we endure and fight this good fight with expectation? There is a great reward. Go after God with your whole heart. Withhold nothing let every part of us be for Him. He gave up everything to give us everything. Real love is about sacrifice. What can we give up in exchange for His reward? Isn’t He worth it?
There are so many benefits to abstinence or celibacy.
Clearer mind and spirit
No risk of unintentional pregnancies
Protection for STD’s and STI’s
Peace of Mind
Boosts your immunity
Avoidance of clouded decisions
A chance to decipher if its love or lust
Test the patience and respect of a partner
Boosts anger management
Increased strength in your stance
A great opportunity to be used by God
Time to get to know your partner for real
Maintain a moral posture within your Christian walk
The choice is yours. Your life hands in the balance based on your obedience. The type of vows you make to God also determine the quality of life you experience.
According to my Mentor, Dr. Courtney M. Bradley relationships can be metaphorically compared to classrooms. It’s a place where learning and understanding are put to the test. A place where growth is both optional and speculative. You have to choose growth and your definition of what growth looks like is your own. It’s the place where participation is necessary to enhance your learning experience. A place where one can be on repeat with the promotion in doubt and outgrow a space because they sat there too long with delayed understanding. Bradley spoke about “failing grades”. As you sit in Life’s classroom, it’s critical to really pay attention. Get all the lessons you need to learn and use them to propel you forward as you become better and not bitter. If you are not growing, then you are considered unhealthy. Growth should be inevitable, but we allow ourselves to be stagnated and be delayed. When aspects don’t experience growth, it’s considered to be disabled. This means that there is a slowing or lack of progression. Ask yourself if your love is healthy or disabled?
Bradley also mentioned summer school. Summer school is an intensive course with a limited time frame. It’s the thick of it the heat is up. The time when ultimatums are high in your environment. The pressure is on. It’s quick and you need to make up for lost time or forfeit progression. A short amount of time to get it together because you took the other seasons you had together for granted. The last thing you want to do is get frozen in this position. Like Toni Morrison, it can be “the coldest winter” skipping over the fact that you fell in love. Only hoping to spring into the new but you first must be new.
When class is in session. Your chances of passing are great when you have the right tools, instruction, and opportunity. You must be intentional about success and also aware of your level of competency. Is your love of geometrics aligned? Can you do the math to add up what’s been going on? Are you able to take away selfishness? Are you capable of diving your time? Is your parent thesis blocking your communication? Are issues exaggerated to the tenth power? Is forgiveness exponentially displayed? How about your tools? Do you pencil in dates still? Are you allowing God to be the protractor and compass? If so to what degree?
Are you attentive? Are the fruit of the spirit in your possession? What’s in your bag? What you carry around so walks volumes to your preparedness for success.
With the right tools, guidance, and willingness to learn, you’ll do more than survive, you’ll thrive. There are so many ways you can pass the test of time. With the option of the open book exams. When information is not width drawn or withheld but you must do the work to search. A willingness to take time to scan and observe so you can absorb. Another option for passing is by asking questions, being honest about shortcomings, and requesting assistance. This may require your partner to overcome while they tutor you or give instructions. Nobody has it all together so it’s imperative to approach each classroom with a growth mindset and not a fixed one. A fixed mindset thinks they have reached the pinnacle and do not expand or learn more. They believe their ability to expand and broaden their perspective is set in stone. If you don’t believe you can acquire more knowledge, then you won’t. Not being teachable is a poor trait and just when you’re out to the test you feel vulnerable and exposed.
Some projects require a partner and others a solo act. Our problem is we want to switch behaviors that don’t match what is expected. Each assignment comes with instructions. It’s up to us to make the effort to read or study the material. When your classmate has a question, do you dismiss it or use it as an opportunity for growth or to provide insight? How do you handle your environment?
There are different types of learners, and we must expect that from our partners. Don’t think of yourself as an AP student and your partner in remedial. Even the Plainfield in your heart and mind. Your partner may not understand things the way you do and may require extra time. What’s your level of patience like?
We must major in the art of not knowing (Bishop T.D. Jakes) but minor in ourselves (levels of pride). The only way to gain an understanding of the next is to submit it to the teacher. To yield to the environment, do your part and take assignments seriously. Be transparent about what you don’t know or haven’t been exposed to. Establish a routine and find strategies. Remember participation can be 50% of your grade. So don’t just show up but be “present”. Lastly, you’re not taking this class alone so let commutation be a driving force with your study buddy and earn the accolades together.
WOW! I feel like Aladdin in his self-titled film. I am way out of my element as I enter the workforce and civilization after two years of being “sheltered”. Many of you have read about my COVID positive experience where I encountered a near-death encounter. Unlike some, the road to recovery has been a long and hard one.
After relearning how to walk and talk again, I thought the battle was almost over. As a dancer and singer, being able to sing a melody and do a small step were major victories for me. Those are things I never thought I would be able to do again. Although breathing was still short and my balance was still shakey, I was excited about the progress and just wanted to get back into the swing of things. I wasn’t ready for full-on routines nor could I sing a song without getting winded but at least I could take care of myself again. It’s such a blessing to be able to practice personal hygiene without assistance. It felt amazing to move without an oxygen tank attached to me. It felt incredible to go a few feet without an asthma attack or extreme exacerbations. Finally, life would go back to normal. Little did I know it was one of many phases.
The lingering phase that became a prominent issue was mental health. Dealing with PTSD from traumatic experiences from my hospital stay, to survivor’s remorse as I watched loved ones and strangers become memories. It was followed by the stages of grief that didn’t have an order but a relentless presence. I toggled between anger and sadness, full-on depression. It was paralyzing and left me suspended within a state. For those who understand coding and computer information systems, it was an “if-then” statement that looped without an “end if” present. Searching for a door, a way out, a symbol of hope until my faith in Christ embraced me and nursed me back to health. I also connected with a therapist who highlighted the fact that I was so resilient. This gave me the strength and confidence to continue on. This process took about a year and a half to recover from. You’re probably like okay, this is good getting better right? Well, king of. I still had a few physical lingering ailments that limited my ability to stand, sit and function normally. My lungs took a major hit and being an asthmatic didn’t make this a walk in the park. Walking a few feet was a challenge and I wondered how life would change. Eventually, I got healed, thank the Lord. I started regaining the full function of my limbs. It took two years! Yes, you read that correctly, it has been a full two years! I don’t regret a thing. God allowed me time to heal in various ways, catch my breath, and gain clarity in my vision. Being close to death will shift your perspective very quickly. I returned home with a new zeal to do something more than I have before but this time for myself.
During this time, finding work remotely seemed like the only option but that didn’t go in my favor. I got serious about blogging, moved, continued working hard in school (GO EAGLES), wrote a children’s book, started working on becoming a Certified Life Coach, started the process to become a Licensed Insurance Broker, and started my own business. I took care of my mental health and picked up both old and new hobbies. I aimed to be productive every day until something else worked in my favor. Finally, after two years and tons of applications, I get a job offer.
Change ahead sign
This new job came with minimum perks but required me to make a maximum sacrifice regarding my health and time. I was instructed to get vaccinated or failure to do so will discontinue this process. This scared me because of negative reviews and things I overheard some factual others not so much. I moved out of state, this meant traveling from one state to another with the risk of being exposed on public transportation to strangers and their germs. The subway? I have been home this entire time. I got adjusted to focusing on my own endeavors and doing it on my own time. I also got adjusted to what others would consider “cabin fever”. I barely traveled and when I did, I was in a private vehicle. I guess that made me a bit spoiled but now here I was, required to move around in a city I left but no longer understood.
Everything felt so new, so different and so strange. the subways were no longer crowded as it was before. I was aware that the crime rate increased tremendously so you can imagine how someone with anxiety would feel about this new experience. There are barely tellers available to ask for help and machines seem to be more prevalent. There were even new payment systems in place. Welcome to OMNY! Oh wow, those were the devices they were installing before the world got infected, how interesting. People were more skeptical than ever interacting with strangers who needed guidance or direction. Restaurants and common places like Dunkin Donuts no longer had seats, obvious hint to grab and go. Carbon footprint increased I see, everyone prefers Lyft and Uber as well as the comfort of their own vehicles. People I met who were so were apprehensive about handshakes and interaction. People finally gave each other space (six feet) in this crowded state which I seem to enjoy. Wow, I can go on so many changes, so many new norms.
An image of a road sign arrow old life – new life
People have been fighting to get things back to “normal” but the world as we knew it is officially over. We look at shows like the Jetson’s and even look at movies such as “WALL-E” and say hey that’s funny, so not reality or “that will never happen”. The funny thing is, it can very well become our reality. As things occur and we adapt, the major factor that remains is our dependence on smart devices and equipment. Robots are not the future, they are integrated now. Life from this point requires adjustment.
It is a whole new world, new rules of engagement, and a NEW lifestyle. What I learned from Aladdin is to just be yourself. Find ways to fit in our new society on my own. A new mentality and inner strength are required to address what is ahead. The only thing that will function amid dysfunction is faith in Christ. The road ahead is full of uncertainty, inquiries without direction, and much concern. People are desensitized to the needs of others, destruction, and even world events. Hearts have grown cold. Right now, Russia and Ukraine are feuding and only God knows what domino effect may occur. Bible talks about wars and rumors of wars and gives us prophetic insight as to what the last days would look like. If it’s not one thing it’s another and it’s affecting all of us. Without God, we will not make it. Wealth won’t help when struggles are psychological. Status won’t help when challenges are social and racial. The list goes on, I just want to encourage you that no matter what changes, God will never change on us, He will never leave or forsake us, we are not alone (Hebrews 3:15. He is consistent and faithful. Things feel new, but we serve a God who does all things new. Life with Him is an adventure. With Him, there is guidance, instruction, and direction. He is our G.P.S- God’s Positioning System. We will not be lost or confounded but be people who are wise, insightful, and focused. We must continue to make an impact in this world and share the gospel.
The only choice to thrive is by adapting!- Chrissy Renee
Like Aladdin, our destiny awaits amid what looks hopeless and void. Your entry into your next season requires authenticity. You may be scared but if you are granted a seat at the table, it’s because you belong there. Others will be charged with creating and building their own. Everything will be new. Aladdin, coming from an impoverished environment to a lavish one by taking risks. CONTINUE to trust God in your business and life decisions. Life can change in the blink of an eye and it will come with twists and turns without that “magic carpet ride” feeling but it will be okay. God wants to restore hope. People today are struggling with hopelessness but there is hope. There are yet rooms your name preceded your presence. The wealth of the wicked is laid up for you. Above all things, God’s desire for us is for us to prosper in every facet of our lives. (3 John 1:2). When things are new we tend to run or operate in fear and that’s completely normal behavior. However, we were given a disadvantage of favor and divine intervention. Embrace this whole new world, find your place, bring change, do your part, and watch God work on, in, and through you. Embrace all that’s new and evolve because sometimes the only way to thrive is to adapt.
They say that “experience is the best teacher”, that’s speculative but I agree in some sense. In life, sometimes you gotta lose enough times to build a strategy from the ground up, gain insight, or see things from a different perspective. These are the defining moments in our lives where we get “gritty” and hungry enough to get the mindset to succeed. We gain strength, a backbone, agility, and tenacity to win. Losing isn’t fun but it’s a part of life. Now one we should embrace and get comfortable with but know it’s a temporary place of disappointment and use it as a stepping stone for forwarding movement and learning. Dr. Courtney M. Bradley says “you can have a situation but the situation doesn’t have to have you!”.
Losing teaches you about what you have within you. Nothing is more revelatory than the times of distress or trouble when we discover who we are and what we possess within. I encourage you not to give up. Oftentimes, our eyes (vision) can get adjusted to the darkness that sudden light will shock and be hurtful. However, if you keep some light on (hope) you will be able to handle the light in its fullness and adjust smoother. You must remain hopeful and remain prepared for when that light opportunity comes bursting through. Sometimes we lose so much that when a win happens, we don’t know how to recognize, receive or rejoice in it. It’s like that now but it would not always be like this forever. Try again, dry your eyes again, stand again, create again, believe again, and dream again but bigger. SUCCESS IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF DISAPPOINTMENT!. YOU CANNOT GIVE UP NOW, YOU MUST SEE AND WITNESS THE SUN-RISE AT THE HORIZON.
The face of entrepreneurship has dramatically changed. Statistically, today’s entrepreneur is fourteen percent female and almost twenty-nine percent represent a minority group. They make up a great portion of the United States GDP (Gross Domestic Product) which is the sum of businesses that add to the American economy. Talk about grit and determination. These groups were often underestimated in the past, but are making their mark as they impact and influence several markets.
Traditionally, people would attend a university and rack up thousands in fees or work a nine to five in hopes that their efforts are acknowledged and compensated. The ladder of success seemed to have been missing some steps making things incredibly difficult for people to reach the top without having assistance. If you pay attention, the million and billionaires who grace covers of magazines are getting younger and diversity, more prominent. Entrepreneurship is the preferred avenue to achieve ultimate life goals. Today, we are in an era of the “woke” generation. There is awareness about any and everything because the information is at our fingertips. Social Media, viral videos, innovative ideas, and technological creations have allowed many to attain wealth quickly. “Throw away the ladder, airlift me to the destination,” says the mindsets of Millennials and Gen Z’s. Hard work is still applauded but they abide by the concept of “Working smarter, not harder!”. If you’re going to do a job, do what you love. People today don’t want to be subjected to a system, ill-treatment (from superiors), or disappointed by unsatisfactory salaries. If you’re going to “go hard” let it be for something you are passionate about that’s ultimately beneficial.
Many are supporting black-owned businesses and other cultural groups to prove that they are not unconsciously biased and contribute to change. Many African Americans believe that supporting a black-owned organization or enterprise is the fulfillment of an Ancestors’ dream. Many would agree that supporting your own culture will …
Keep finances in the community.
Increase representation.
Increases social pride.
Create community staples.
Decrease the negative stigma of poverty, lack, and ownership.
Representation is imperative right now and everyone is rooting for their own culture to have visibility and awareness. Today, we are aware that being socially and environmentally responsible is preferred. Everything is for a cause or “for the culture” but what happens when a culture has been misrepresented, misconstrued, misbranded, misclassified, and experiences social self-sabotage?
Let’s address the neon elephant on the block. Being labeled a “black business” can potentially hinder growth. I believe that black-owned businesses are often misconstrued because there are so many ill notions concerning professionalism or the lack thereof. Black businesses are not supported by African Americans because many believe that their culture is riddled with a lack of quality, customer service, proper communication, consistency, integrity, and efficiency.
Unfortunately, many have encountered unfavorable experiences with such businesses. While some argue that they experience a lack of support. People of Color prefer to support other races to obtain quality partnerships and encounters. The complaints often expressed… are a mile long but it’s actually social self-sabotage. When someone black says “you know it’s going to be late, it’s a black-owned business”, it is a form of social self-sabotage. Many have lost all faith within their race to produce favorable outcomes. This diminishing of support destroys not just a particular business but the reputation of an entire race.
We all know integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking. “Integrity is necessary, not an optional tool. it is an expression of love and passion for your business. This is the only way for your business to advance and succeed” says Anita from “Siomara’s Catering”. It’s not just doing the right thing but putting your best foot forward with good intentions. Many often associate branding with just colors and images that are presented on a public platform. What they fail to realize is, the true identity of your brand is YOUR character. Your core values, beliefs, ethics, and principles become evident in the brand. “What people say about you when you’re not in the room is your true brand identity,” says Brandon Monti of Connecticut. Your perspective will always creep into the culture and environment you create. What you represent as a person will transition and translate to what you present as a CEO.
The term “Black Excellence” is often a hot topic. African Americans love to use and overuse it to show support, pride, or approval. Vaughn Brandford of Brooklyn states that “I think most people are under the misconception of black excellence. Many utilize it as a shield to be subpar believing that they are exceptional by just mere existence. People believe that somehow it shields black people from discrimination and racism, which is a complete fallacy. We must understand, to be considered excellent, we must be excellent. Most of us won’t get a second chance at a first impression. If we know we’re representing more than just “us” then we should consider it in our presentation. The adjective “excellent” should be used without the “black” label. We should just strive to be amazing and successful owners who just happen to walk in excellence”.
Business Owners Tips to fight against statistics:
Invest in professional development training.
Hold others accountable.
Acquire financial literacy and upgrade financial practices.
Invest in software to remain organized and keep track of invoices and payments.
Apply Ethics in everything.
Vulnerability is a must! It’s not a crime to say “no”, “I’m unable to” or be honest about mistakes.
Keep the bar of excellence high.
Sensitivity training is highly preferred.
Train staff on concepts of customer service and the power of a pleasant demeanor.
Be reliable.
Boost hospitality.
Watch your tone.
No compromise.
Inferior service is not accepted!
Develop a disdain for tardiness.
DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT
Contracts are your friend.
Make realistic promises.
Be open to key partnerships.
Learn and teach conflict resolution.
Particiality is unkind. Many will be pleasant to another race but disrespectful or rude to their own.
It’s not a competition but it is a competition. You need a comparative advantage for a competitive market. However, do not compare yourself to anyone else other than yourself. Monopoly is a game to play at home. Some competition is healthy to push you.
Don’t be afraid to share information and resources. Even if people immatate you, they will never be YOU. Your unique presence in a saturated market is still needed.
Do not take clients’ funds without providing a product or service and then ignore them. Clients should not have to chase you.
Communication is your friend!
These tips are not to criticize but to aid in the development and formation of your next level in business. Be encouraged. Find joy and pleasure in what wakes you up every day. When you are intentional about living, you can live on purpose, expressing purpose. Elizabeth, owner of the famous “Bizzy Bakery” in Brooklyn states that “It does my heart proud knowing I can brighten a day just by being myself. I love that God allows me to do what I love every single day. Being respectful is a MUST, but being a nice person is a CHOICE. I just happen to be one of the few where being nice comes naturally to me”. “Lizz” is a prime example of how personal brand affects professional branding. She is extremely jovial and easy to interact with. She is a woman of her word and truly finds delight in seeing her customers happy. Her sweet demeanor encourages potential clients to try her sweet treats.
Dr. Courtney M. Bradley states that “you may not have one hundred dollars, but you can show support in a hundred ways!” It should not take another social uproar or protest in the country to drive people to support each other. Here are some ways to show support and as well as some tips for engagement.
Let go of entitlement. Do not expect “favors” and complimentary service due to familiarity.
Share promotional material on social media to increase reach and visibility.
Purchase something without an argument or debate about the price. Their time, energy, and resources were invested in their work.
Encourage someone by acknowledging their good work or practices.
Believe in the vision, it’s not just about the individual.
Encourage others to support.
Speak well of the company, word of mouth is one method of organic growth.
Make a payment on time but communicate in case of an emergency.
Arguing and yelling at owners isn’t the most effective way to make a complaint.
Respect their payment methods and rules.
Ask how you can help or volunteer.
To those who are business owners, working hard to set a standard, I salute you. Thank you for your time, energy, sacrifice, sleepless nights, early mornings, creativity, and passion. Your labor is not in vain, many appreciate all that you do to make a client or organization happy. To every person of color fighting against these common misconceptions, keep going. You being your best self helps combat what is contrary. To every female striving for excellence as a “boss babe” thank you. You are creating a pattern for the next generation to follow. The future of ownership and the reputation of modern leadership is in your hands.
Heraclitus once said, “the only thing constant is change”. I concur, change is a shift, a minute or drastic modification is an inevitable part of life. As the world turns on its axis, new generations shift cultures and the natural progression of life exists; it’s the same for personal growth.
Personal growth requires a growth mindset. The mentality that has no limitations. This type of person has a genuine love for learning, exhibits grit, sees problems as a challenge, and believes that abilities are not fixed. You can enhance anything and learn new skills. Oftentimes people say the desire to change something that’s unfavorable but doesn’t have the right tools to make it happen. Change must be desired before it can be encouraged. An individual must have a strong conviction to alter some things whether internal or external. A true passion for growth and a need for development.
Don’t be afraid to evolve, its natural! – Chrissy Renee
The only way to grow is to change. If you don’t believe me, research life cycles. For instance, look at the butterfly or the developmental changes of a baby. We must understand that when we finally decided to be intentional about our lifestyle and its results, we must make some amendments. Adjustments first require.
Made up mind
Plan of action
Daily routine
Accountability partners
Benchmarks
Rewards
Continuum of what is successful.
Once you have made up your mind and have made a cognitive shift, take the time to create a solid plan. We only fail because we fail in preparation. Design your course of action and have a bounce-back plan, not a backup plan. To create a backup plan, it’s subconsciously giving yourself an excuse to renege on your goal. Create a daily schedule to help you stay on track. Once you practice something day eventually it will become a habit. Once a habit is formed you can then develop a lifestyle that is your new nature.
Some things we cannot change on our own. This is a great time to locate some key partners for accountability. People that are firm, motivating, and encouraging to push you towards your desired destination. Within that journey you may get tired, question why you’re doing something, and attempt to give up. These individuals will help you realign your mentality on your journey.
Speaking of journeys, look at roads, highways, and bridges. There are significant markings on the path as you travel. There are signs and indications and instructions. Everything is purposed to keep you on target, within the right speed, safe, and provide directions. Along our journey to self-improvement and change, we need to set benchmarks. Make it clear, by this time, I would like to do “x” and highlight what tools, funds, people, deadlines, and important details to keep you on time and track.
When you get to a benchmark or have achieved something, please do yourself and favor and celebrate. Celebrate YOU, acknowledge your accomplishment, honor small victories, and take a moment to look at how far you have come. Don’t wait until you made a giant leap, keep yourself motivated by being proud of even the smallest steps. Reward yourself with a small gift, do something you’ve always wanted to do, or whatever reward is defined in your eyes.
When you have done a great job (mishaps and all) the only thing to do is to repeat the process. Work what is working. When you find it feasible do it on a broader scale. Let nothing stop you from achieving your dreams. Dreams can feel like a nightmare when they torment your mind unattained. I implore you to pursue passionately and don’t get distracted by negativity, failure, or lack of support. Whatever you put your mind to do, you can do it. That may sound like a cliché but why consider or dream at all if you don’t plan to make it a reality? If you’re reading this, just know someone is rooting for you, enjoy the journey!
Let’s jump right into it. A state has an ambiguous meaning. It can be a geographical place within a country, a state of mind and even a posture.
Oftentimes, I hear people say “change of environment is essential” so they leave their home in hopes to find solace and peace elsewhere. I do agree that every now and then we need to just get away. We need to relax, release, and just dwell in peace or maybe have some fun. We all deserve that. Change of environment affects one’s mood and shifts perspective as well.
One thing that is for sure; ultimately, it’s your posture that is a direct correlation to your state of mind. If I am unhappy with my life or feel frustrated, shifting my location is all that I am doing it does not remove the issue. That same mentality travels with you. We go places mentally and sometimes we lose our passport. We have no admission back to that homeostasis of internal peace. We lose ourselves in the land of frustration, being overwhelmed and so much more. We look for external reasons to take the blame for your current situation instead of searching within. You know what they say “when someone wants to leave they will find a million reasons to go can’t find one to stay”- Unknown.
If someone is a go getter and that state of mind is their posture no matter where you place them, they will strive. My point is, if you really believe that moving elsewhere is the answer to your problems you are in for a rude awakening. Yes, some people thrive after they shift locations, but you must have the right mentality in order to make that life adjustment. You may have unfavorable conditions where you are right now but trust me there is much you can experience that is wonderful in the eye of a storm.
I am all for traveling the world or exploring a new place. Sometimes we need a fresh start but just keep in mind that the fresh start must being with YOU.
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