“Breadcrumbing” is containment. We do that to animals. To lure them and keep them captive. We leave a trail of desirables because we know it’s all they’ll focus on as we eagerly plan and plot entrapment. While some animals are cunning enough to evade a trap and still get their delight, not many have that level of understanding.

It’s the same for humans. We leave a trail of niceties disguised as good intentions and acts of service. We are so comfortable being crafty and slick to hide one into a particular direction. Giving the impression of provision and care. Their humble gratitude coupled with naive minds and hearts enables them to be your prey and some of us like it. Many confuse your actions as initiative or even a chase never realizing they won’t ever be chosen. Instead, they’ll be captured. Captured hearts and minds. Accepting the bare minimum and with intense hunger for more. Each crumb is placed with addictive honey   Your words sweet to an untrained ear. Invigorating to an open heart that lacks discernment. 

Manipulation on full display. No intention to commit just an evil tactic to go fishing for vulnerable hearts. At some point, some may wake up and realize what they crave doesn’t match what they have been given. Those who understand their worth will leave quickly while others may fall victim for a while before discovering their value. Nothing under the sun is truly hidden. All evil and dark things come to light eventually. Many realized they “fumbled” a good one and have unsuccessful attempts to repair it. 

Not everyone who specializes in “breadcrumming” is evil and begins with a motive to deceive. Many are just indecisive and crippled by fear or trauma that prohibits one for being present, venerable, honest and “all in”.  In Proverbs 4:23 it encourages one to guard their heart. To guard is an intentional act of protection. To guard means to protect someone or something from harm, danger, or attack. To restrain, make wise decisions, be discerning, establish healthy boundaries and set standards you are persuaded with and stand on it.

Your core values, standards and self-love will act as a pedestal for you to stand on. You can see clearly with an elevated perspective. Shift your posture, shift your view. Charged view will shift your mindset. A transformed mindset will affect your actions and interactions. What we allow is a direct reflection of how we see. 

Those who love deeply and passionate don’t settle at the surface, when you deserve sustainable and secure love. Don’t betray yourself but rather portray self-love and keep your eyes open. Your discernment and entire being knows when you not getting what you deserve. Please don’t put all your eggs in one basket, when a lot of these baskets have holes and barely have handles. Get a grip on what your worth and be okay with walking away unapologetically.  When you don’t grip and take control of your own life, we allow others to mishandle us. Don’t war rose colored glasses due to chemistry but rather pay attention to how they care.

Expecting reciprocity is not asking for too much that is the bare minimum. A relationship or friendship requires parties to be loyal and with an exchange. If you notice you give more than you receive, it’s time to revisit the dynamic and foundation. Not everyone is able to give back in the way that you can, but intentionality is shown and expressed when truly interested. My spiritual father Courtney Bradley says, ” You may not have $100 to give to someone but you can give love in 100 ways”. YOU deserve to be loved in a myriad of ways, don’t settle. Why settle for breadcrumbs when you worthy of the whole meal? Think about it, the people we select to being our lives reflect how we feel about ourselves. Are your connections nourishing you or causing you to be malnourished?

Many were fooled and lured like that animal we talked about. Please give yourself grace if you felt for a plot when this person was once making plans with you. Now that you know better, you can recognize the events and act early. For those currently captured, know that it’s not a permanent place. Whether it’s an avoidant, narcissist, or a toxic relationship. This is not the end of your story. Leave, find help and most importantly heal. Self-love will be that soup for the soul after you endured a famine.

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